Like a Train Wreck

Labels: So good

I got me a new phone. Oh yeah... I'm so hip I can't tie my shoes.

It's a Windows phone.

Seriously. I really like it. I can access all of my work stuff on it. The only thing I don't like about it is the way it handles conference calls. But really, who uses a phone for telephone calls anyway.

...and in a totally ADD moment... A 15k-Mile 1988 Pontiac Fiero GT! Oh my gosh. Oh dear. I kid. In '88 I wanted a SAAB 900 SPG... or a Buick Grand National, depending on the size of the hair on the girl I was dating.

For example, A SAAB 900...

Not a SAAB 900...

I know what you're thinking. Why not a '74 Nova? The answer is simple. Too dangerous. Lousy brakes and bad seatbelts. '74 Nova's also always had large violent boyfriends who might... might just beat you to death with your penny loafer. I always gave Chevy's a wide berth and stuck to Pontiac, Oldsmobile and Buick. Looked the same, fewer Herpes... I mean HorsePowers.*

*No I don't.

Labels: nostalgia neuralgia

BULLSHIT!

There was discussion about the ANTI-WOMAN GOP at a website I occasionally visit. The upshot was that by making the observation that a woman who spends $1000 per year on birth control was a slut; Rush Limbaugh, a conservative radio talk show host, has destroyed any hope the GOP had to prevail in the debate over the requirement that all employers who provide health insurance benefits to their employees (all employers that have over 50 employees under Obamacare) completely cover birth control, including sterilization and abortifacients.

Here's the problem. If you take the woman at her word, she's either having a shitload of sex, or spending too much on birth control. Birth control pills are $4 per month at Wal-Mart. Condoms are about .88$ If it's the former, well, you could call her a slut, I think, pretty safely. After all, Sara Palin was called worse by liberal talkers. If it's the latter, then she'll just have to get used to using a less expensive form of birth control. I hear blowjobs rarely result in pregnancy, and are free!

Anyway. The woman was full of shit, just like the guy who testified in the 2-17 post. But you can't call someone a liar, even if they represent themselves as a 23 year-old student and they are actually a 30 year-old student. They may have just "misspoke". So we can't just assume they are bullshitting everyone, so we have to believe her story. So, she's either really a slut, or a spendthrift. Which is it? Well, the spendthrift argument got the following reply:

"The individual women and their doctors have more specific knowledge of which kind of birth control is appropriate"

So I gues all you single guys can stop buying condoms.

My answer:

Great for them. Don't ask me to pay for it. They can, after all, choose to not have sex. Or choose to engage in sexual practices with a smaller chance of resultant pregnancy. They could use condoms.

It would be a significant hardship for me to not own a car. I have a large family and for safety and convienience sake, a large car is recommended. A large car is expensive to buy and has expensive ongoing fuel and maintenance costs. Alternatives are available. I could choose to not drive. I could choose to buy a smaller car, I could choose to borrow or rent a car if I needed one, I do not need to buy the largest most expensive car deemed appropriate by experts.

Chemical or hormonal birth control is not the only way to reduce symptoms of ovarian cysts, cramps, or endometriosis and, at any rate, there is probably a process in place to challenge the formulary if those therapies aren't covered. They may have to jump through some hoops, it may take a while, but either they will end up covered or a suitable replacement will eventually be found.

I think you have bought into the line that this is an anti-woman debate, when it's not. The reaction to this woman is based on the statements she made. Statements that many think are untrue or exaggerated. I don't think anyone would think she was telling a wholly unbiased fact-based story.

If a student told me they needed my help paying the bills and I found out they spent $3000 dollars a year on coffee, I'd think they a) drank too much coffee b) spent too much on the coffee they drank c) were scamming me. If I'm not allowed to call the student a liar (and let's suppose I'm not), a or b is the answer. That student can buy their own coffee.

Or, in other words, BULLSHIT!

Over the last two weeks, The Prince, the first and so far tallest of the maddad's children, has been awarded the Sons of the American Revolution's Bronze Medal of Citizenship, inducted into the National Honor Society, and selected for Boy's State here in Hoosierstan.

I am very proud...

This should prove to the world at large that my penis is exceptional. I mean, seriously, just look at the damage it can do.

Busy bee today. I have 30 minutes to finish up so I can run out the door. I'm just typing this because the dang browser window's been open since 7:30 this morning and I feel guilty.

What is a civil union?

No one believes this guy's story. Find the emergency room doc who said that (in NY and in 2010) and I'll pretend to be gay married to you for a month.

Of course, those of us who are married don't worry about gay marriage, since married people don't have sex, we won't end up with a new crop of homos to argue with.

But this guy? Full of shit. You believe it, I have a single mom who was forced into bankruptcy and unemployment over an ingrown toenail that turned cancerous because she couldn't afford emergency contraception who'd like a word with you.

Labels: dragged off and shot

Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon

I know.  You're thinking, "what am I going to do with 55 gallons of lube?" but this is really good stuff .  55 gallons is really all you need.  In fact, it'll probably last as long as twice as much of the leading brand.

Think about how often you need to coat yourself in lube.  While running from the police,  wrestling snakes. removing your head from tight places... inserting your head in tight places. 

I have published a small, slippery pamphlet with over seven uses for lube  that you can own if you send me a short note, a plastic bag, and a pair of dry pants and a videotape of you lip-syncing to late model Van Morrison.  Get 'em while they last.