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grrrrrrrrrrreat!

8/22/2016

I got to see Junior Brown over the weekend, he was awesome. Really professional and put on a fantastic show. I didn't get anything else done this weekend, so I was glad I had something to show for it. Or not. But at least I had a good time.




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Uncomfortable

8/04/2016

The bullshit of the day is about Donald Trump. If you didn't know, Donald Trump is running for President as a Republican.

Donald Trump.

On the other side of the aisle is Hillary Clinton.

Hillary. Clinton.

At the Democratic National Convention, the Democrats, Hillary Clinton's party, rolled out some asshole who said his kid wouldn't have been allowed in the Army if Trump were President. Of course, what the asshole didn't say is that if Trump had been President in 2004, his kid would still be alive. He also didn't say that had Trump been President in 2004 then Hillary Clinton would never have had the chance to vote for the invasion of Iraq. Hillary Clinton being the nominee at the convention where this asshole made his speech.

And make no mistake (my least favorite "presidential" figure of speech), this guy IS an asshole. Having a kid in the Army does not absolve you from being an asshole. Even, and I can't believe I have to make this clear, even if the kid dies. And just to make things even more clear, me calling this guy an asshole does not mean I'm calling his kid an asshole. His kid may have been an asshole like his dad, but I don't know, I never heard his kid be an asshole on TV. I heard the dad be an asshole on TV. The dad is an asshole. I repeat, that doesn't mean his kid was an asshole.

I know of which I speak. My kid is in the Army. I can be an asshole. You may not have a kid in the Army and not be an asshole, but there are people who don't have kids in the Army who are assholes and people who DO have kids in the Army who aren't assholes. There are people in the Army who are assholes. There are people in the Army who were killed in action who were assholes, there are people who were killed in action who were not assholes.

Merely pointing out that some asshole is an asshole doesn't mean anything. It doesn't dishonor the asshole's son's sacrifice any more than it dishonored anything else. This Khan guy is an asshole.

I believe this is all Trump was trying to say, but Trump is an asshole, so he didn't do it right.

So now we have the unbelievable spectacle of the fucking Democrats telling the rest of America how to "honor the troops" and half of the fucking Republicans chiming right along with them.

Fuck them, and if you are making a show of agreeing with them? Fuck you too. You asshole.

Also this week, the fucking newspapers are trying to tell us we don't need to floss any more.

Fuck that.

Please floss. Your breath stinks.

Every self-anointed master of the universe is crowing about how the "scientists" don't know anything. These guys are assholes.

It's not the scientists, you shitheads, it's the fucking newspapers. Floss, shitheads.

Please.

Assholes.


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Try to remember

7/27/2016

This will never be big news.

Charges against the two guys who made the Planned Parenthood videos dismissed.

This fucking country is corrupt as hell.


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2007 is nine years ago

6/30/2016

I must have been a genius.

Anyway, that post came up as a google search. It was nine years ago. Nine years ago I had been blogging for four years. I had 1200 posts. It's nine years later, I have 1900 posts.

Still have a dangerous penis.




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wayback machine

I'm not going to link the article I just read because it says that the guy who got caught, red handed, raping a passed out drunk girl wasn't guilty of rape because they were both drunk. Because this guy's reasoning is bullshit. Does the girl bear some responsibility? Sure, the same way a drug dealer who gets murdered by other drug dealers is responsible, but the drug dealer still got fucking MURDERED. The girl who got raped put herself into a bad position. She was incapacitated and left to rely on strangers to take care of her. One of those strangers tried to rape her. The fact that that stranger was also pretty drunk doesn't absolve him of rape any more than being a drug dealer absolves the drug dealers of murder. I mean, seriously. This is a case where "Teach your sons not to rape" is actually the best argument. (I usually hate when that argument gets used because lately it's been used by people who define rape as whatever the woman says happened. That's simply not the case.) I mean, I teach my sons to be respectful of women. I was taught to be respectful of women. Women used to be taught to be respectful of themselves, but that isn't the case any longer. Women also used to be taught to look out for one another. What happened there?

Imma tell you all a story. Freshman year of college I was friends with a beautiful girl. She was, what my roommate at the time called a "total smokeshow", they had gone to high school together and he was totally smitten. My roommate, the smokeshow, and I had almost every class together first semester, and to get more time with the smokeshow (not that I complained) my roommate started a study group.

NOW... the smokeshow and maddad did not really fraternize outside of study group or class, I had a girlfriend, but sometimes study group went longer than it should have and involved late night pizzas and such. Long story short, I thought she was out of my league, she thought maddad was taken.

Flash forward to the end of Spring Break. maddad returns to campus a changed man. Free of girlfriend and ready to par-tay (hey, it was the 80's). Said smokeshow now has a very jealous boyfriend, so we don't see her around much anymore, however your pal, ol' maddad, does manage to use her good auspices to get introduced to a very nice girl who had been crushing on ol' maddad for a while. (maddad pats hisself on the back) However, new girl and maddad never seal the deal (get your mind out of the gutter), she was living at home and trying to transfer schools, and maddad was trying to keep his now-ex girlfriend from murdering him in a jealous rage. BUT, since new girl and smokeshow are good friends, maddad and smokeshow start hanging out more often, outside of class, outside of study group. Basically at house parties where maddad's ex wasn't invited. Smokeshow and maddad became very close. To the point where smokeshow broke up with jealous boyfriend, about three weeks before the end of the year.

BUT... Nothing happened. Maddad and smokeshow, despite much talk, hand holding, deep conversations, friends expectations, planning, and the fevered fantasies of maddad's weird-ass roommate, never even smooched.

WHY? Smokeshow was a drunk.

LET'S BE HONEST... maddad wasn't sober. What I mean is, at this point, maddad was NEVER sober. But smokeshow was a drunk. Pre-cellphone we'd have to make plans to meet up, and because of the associated weirdness of our previous romantic interests, we had to arrive separately (don't even ask), and by the time maddad showed up, smokeshow was hammered. maddad, not being a jackass, never took advantage of the wasted smokeshow, even though he is sure, now, that that was the point. It is not what you did there were "rules". I told her that the last time we were together, and I even had to tell her sorority "big sister" to take care of her when smokeshow went around at a party telling everyone we were leaving together "and you know what that means". We didn't, by the way. Leave together. Every single girl at that party wanted to know where I was taking her, every girl told me she was too drunk to leave with me. I knew it, and they made sure I knew it. That was back in the day, wasn't it? Nowadays she probably would have blown me in the bathroom and and her friends would have put it up on youtube.

At any rate, it's good that we never got together. Deep in my heart I was still pining away for maddmom and if I had hooked up with smokeshow I definitely would not have transferred schools and my ex would have stabbed me at some point so I'd be dead now and lonely too. But I would have had unsatisfying sex with a very drunk smokeshow at least once, and evidently nowadays, that's what counts.

PS: If there's a PS to this story, here it is... I can't for the life of me remember smokeshow's real last name.




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I don't need to know

6/21/2016

When something terrible happens, I'll know. I'll feel terrible. I don't need to know how much you care. Especially if all I want to do is buy some chicken. Or gas. Or jeans. Or digital content. I don't need to know how this terrible thing "impacts our area", especially if it didn't occur anywhere near our area. Because, let's face it, the only reason the terrible thing would have any "impact" on our area is if someone decided to MAKE this terrible thing "impact our area".

People who think that terrible things wouldn't happen if only I behaved in a way that they see fit ARE the problem and those people have much more in common with the perpetrators of terrible things than I will ever.

Accidents can also be terrible things. I will attempt to avoid accidents. There. See how easy? Now, everyone.

Fuck off.

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Memorial Day

5/31/2016

I was gone for a bit, maybe two weeks, and with all the catching up I had to do I didn't post what I wanted to post. Then I forgot what I wanted to post, so you get this.

It's the day after Memorial Day. Dangeresque graduates from High School on Saturday, the Prince is one year away from graduating college. The Beast will be a sophomore (actually he hasn't ever stopped being a sophomore) and Skippy is entering Junior High.

I am one old motherfucker. That's really it. All I have to say. I got a party to get ready for.




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wandering and ranting

5/09/2016

I found myself being super professional at work this morning. I was actually shocked. I mean, today is the day that I leave on vacation and I should, by all rights, be ridiculously incompetent. But no. Today I amazed even myself. So I'm leaving early.

This was Derby weekend at the McMahonsion, and for some reason it is only 50 degrees of global warming out. I actually tripped over a drowned polar bear while picking up the newspaper this morning. Something must be done. And by that I mean I need to move. I need to find a place where it's hot, but not too far from a beach, and now that most of my kids are in good shape, and the others are unfixable, I suppose that means anywhere in Florida.

My bones hurt when it's cold. I hibernate and don't do nearly enough physical activity when it's cold. Instead, I blog. Like today. I'm leaving for ten days, and instead of working out, I'm typing. I have one day left to get a good workout in before I backpedal with booze and fatty fried food, but because it's so goddam cold out, all I'm going to do is sit here and rant about it. Snow was supposed to be a thing of the past! My house was supposed to be seaside by now. Fuck it, SOMEONE GET LEO ANOTHER PRIVATE JET! It's too damn cold!

Seriously. It's May and my fingers are numb. This just sucks.

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