Go to content Go to navigation Go to search

I don't need to know

6/21/2016

When something terrible happens, I'll know. I'll feel terrible. I don't need to know how much you care. Especially if all I want to do is buy some chicken. Or gas. Or jeans. Or digital content. I don't need to know how this terrible thing "impacts our area", especially if it didn't occur anywhere near our area. Because, let's face it, the only reason the terrible thing would have any "impact" on our area is if someone decided to MAKE this terrible thing "impact our area".

People who think that terrible things wouldn't happen if only I behaved in a way that they see fit ARE the problem and those people have much more in common with the perpetrators of terrible things than I will ever.

Accidents can also be terrible things. I will attempt to avoid accidents. There. See how easy? Now, everyone.

Fuck off.

Bookmark and Share

Memorial Day

5/31/2016

I was gone for a bit, maybe two weeks, and with all the catching up I had to do I didn't post what I wanted to post. Then I forgot what I wanted to post, so you get this.

It's the day after Memorial Day. Dangeresque graduates from High School on Saturday, the Prince is one year away from graduating college. The Beast will be a sophomore (actually he hasn't ever stopped being a sophomore) and Skippy is entering Junior High.

I am one old motherfucker. That's really it. All I have to say. I got a party to get ready for.




Bookmark and Share

wandering and ranting

5/09/2016

I found myself being super professional at work this morning. I was actually shocked. I mean, today is the day that I leave on vacation and I should, by all rights, be ridiculously incompetent. But no. Today I amazed even myself. So I'm leaving early.

This was Derby weekend at the McMahonsion, and for some reason it is only 50 degrees of global warming out. I actually tripped over a drowned polar bear while picking up the newspaper this morning. Something must be done. And by that I mean I need to move. I need to find a place where it's hot, but not too far from a beach, and now that most of my kids are in good shape, and the others are unfixable, I suppose that means anywhere in Florida.

My bones hurt when it's cold. I hibernate and don't do nearly enough physical activity when it's cold. Instead, I blog. Like today. I'm leaving for ten days, and instead of working out, I'm typing. I have one day left to get a good workout in before I backpedal with booze and fatty fried food, but because it's so goddam cold out, all I'm going to do is sit here and rant about it. Snow was supposed to be a thing of the past! My house was supposed to be seaside by now. Fuck it, SOMEONE GET LEO ANOTHER PRIVATE JET! It's too damn cold!

Seriously. It's May and my fingers are numb. This just sucks.

Bookmark and Share

Hi Hayden

5/06/2016

Sup Sarge

The Holly Maddux Memorial Earth Day Post

4/22/2016


Excuses, Excuses. I've been hearing half my life about how THIS GREAT MAN invented Earth Day. Now that he's been caught, no thanks to Peter Gabriel, suddenly he had nothing to do with Earth Day. I'm not even linking to Philly Mag's bullshit about how they fucking GOOGLED it and couldn't find anything to substantiate the SMEAR on EARTH DAY that Ira Einhorn had anything to do with it.

Look, these fucking dirtbag losers who started this shit picked the day, Lenin's Birthday, and picked the people they wanted as the "faces" of the movement. They picked Einhorn. They picked Einhorn and for years, despite overwhelming evidence, they continued to enable this GREAT MAN who happened to be an insane, psychopathic, narcissist.

But who cares, right? EARTH!

Like I say every year, I don't like pollution. I hate litter, I love nature. I hate liars more. Fuck Earth Day. Fuck Ira Einhorn. Fuck Philly Magazine. And fuck all the fake bullshit environmentalists too.

Bookmark and Share

ouchie

4/20/2016

Get this women Marines still won't have to do pullups. This is chickenshit stuff. How are they supposed to get over walls in combat situations etc... etc... I don't really care, it's just an excuse to talk about my lack of pullup ability.

As recently as last June, I could do eleven natural grip or seven wide grip pullups starting wityh feet on the floor. I could do five in a row from a hang, and this was at my fattest, 230 lbs. By September, I was down to 205 and probably could have done more, but I didn't even try. Then I had my surgery. I tried to do pullups just the other day, but quickly realized that I can't even do one. Not one.

Granted, I'm fat again, 210. But 210 is my settling weight. It's where I always seem to end up if I'm working out at all. No, it's not the weight, it's the pain. Oh my God it hurts.

I had been doing some light weight work for rehab, and it's been long enough that I should be better. I can now bench... well... 100 lbs! without pain. But pain is a scary thing, and pullups make that pain. And I don't want to do pullups.

Pullups were always my thing. I know they are a relative weight thing, but I always considered them a good gauge of overall fitness. I mean I couldn't run or lift much as a kid, but I could do pullups and pushups all day. Of course, I was a skinny fuck, but still... Even after I got heavier I made sure I could do pullups. Now I'm a forty-five year old pudgy dude who can't do a single pullup, or even try without squealing like the hatchback on a chevy vega (monza wagon? whatever).

What about your overhead press? Said no one. Well, says maddad of his historical weak point, 75 lbs. No pain. On the right side. The left...

ouchie.

Also, can't get my average speed on the bike above 16 mph when I'm outside. I can do 24-25 on the rollers. Is it wind? Hills? dunno. Feels faster than it is. I don't really care since I don't do group rides, but I'm running out of excuses to not to, and I need to get my speed up.

I keep telling myself that the faster I go, the sooner I can get my sore ass off of the road bike and on to the mountain bike, and I get to drive my super-sweet convertible to the trails. Still, no speed gains.

Maybe it's time to get some new bikes. I'm riding 1990's tech, because I'm cheap. I don't want to spend $1000 bucks on two bikes when $1000 will get me new Weber carburetors. I think I need the carbs more than the bikes.

Until one breaks. Then all bets are off.

Anyway. I think I like fixing them more than I like riding them.




Bookmark and Share

So that's the way it is...

4/19/2016

A couple of things...

Firstly, I finally figured out what is wrong with the line breaks on this here blog. I was having issues with the way posts looked, probably because I haven't updated my template since 2004. I'm still not going to update my template, because I like it and I don't want to think about it that much. Kinda the same reason that I'm down to posting every third month or so. I'm posting today because I had a trip scheduled to Houston and Houston decided that they'd rather have 200 inches of rain. So I didn't go to Houston. Somewhere on this blog is my story about getting the last plane out of Houston before Hurricane Ike. Followed by the post where I explain how Hurricane Ike knocked out the power around here for six months and we had to eat several of my children. That didn't make me change my blog template, and neither will this.

Secondly, I'm getting a lot of shit about Trump. Here's the thing. Trump is running as a Republican. I'm not a Republican. If you are, I don't care if he upsets you. Fuck off.

Really though, if you are still a Republican after McCain and Romney, after the lies and bullshit of the McConnells and the Boehners, after the contempt of the Ryans, then you got bigger problems than Trump. No one is voting for Trump because he's the "conservative" candidate, or because he represents some deeply held principals. He isn't and doesn't. This is a fucking game. Voting for Trump isn't even a big middle finger to the "establishment" GOP, because he's no different than any of the fucking loud-mouth, lying, "tea-party" types who got elected last time around and screwed us all to the wall. You know, the ones that got elected by promising to repeal Obamacare and support the troops, then fully funded obamacare and cut veteran's benefits? Those assholes? Yeah. Trump's just like them.

One thing though. Trump did say he was going to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. Wow, everyone got excited. Everyone laughs at that. Even the other candidates. But when pushed, Trump said he'd tax the shit out of money traveling back to Mexico. A massive tax on renumeration. Now we all know that Wells Fargo and Western Union will never let that pass our Republican majority congress, but it is the only thing that would work to reduce illegal immigration and I'm glad Mr. Berlusconi mentioned it.

So go on, get in your on-line girl fights over who's the REAL conservative in the GOP primary race, I don't care because there isn't one. I'm voting, if I vote, Libertarian. Because it's just as meaningless as a vote for Cruz, Kasich or Trump, and while I'm still allowed, I will.









Bookmark and Share