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wandering and ranting


I found myself being super professional at work this morning. I was actually shocked. I mean, today is the day that I leave on vacation and I should, by all rights, be ridiculously incompetent. But no. Today I amazed even myself. So I'm leaving early.

This was Derby weekend at the McMahonsion, and for some reason it is only 50 degrees of global warming out. I actually tripped over a drowned polar bear while picking up the newspaper this morning. Something must be done. And by that I mean I need to move. I need to find a place where it's hot, but not too far from a beach, and now that most of my kids are in good shape, and the others are unfixable, I suppose that means anywhere in Florida.

My bones hurt when it's cold. I hibernate and don't do nearly enough physical activity when it's cold. Instead, I blog. Like today. I'm leaving for ten days, and instead of working out, I'm typing. I have one day left to get a good workout in before I backpedal with booze and fatty fried food, but because it's so goddam cold out, all I'm going to do is sit here and rant about it. Snow was supposed to be a thing of the past! My house was supposed to be seaside by now. Fuck it, SOMEONE GET LEO ANOTHER PRIVATE JET! It's too damn cold!

Seriously. It's May and my fingers are numb. This just sucks.

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Hi Hayden


Sup Sarge

The Holly Maddux Memorial Earth Day Post


Excuses, Excuses. I've been hearing half my life about how THIS GREAT MAN invented Earth Day. Now that he's been caught, no thanks to Peter Gabriel, suddenly he had nothing to do with Earth Day. I'm not even linking to Philly Mag's bullshit about how they fucking GOOGLED it and couldn't find anything to substantiate the SMEAR on EARTH DAY that Ira Einhorn had anything to do with it.

Look, these fucking dirtbag losers who started this shit picked the day, Lenin's Birthday, and picked the people they wanted as the "faces" of the movement. They picked Einhorn. They picked Einhorn and for years, despite overwhelming evidence, they continued to enable this GREAT MAN who happened to be an insane, psychopathic, narcissist.

But who cares, right? EARTH!

Like I say every year, I don't like pollution. I hate litter, I love nature. I hate liars more. Fuck Earth Day. Fuck Ira Einhorn. Fuck Philly Magazine. And fuck all the fake bullshit environmentalists too.

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Get this women Marines still won't have to do pullups. This is chickenshit stuff. How are they supposed to get over walls in combat situations etc... etc... I don't really care, it's just an excuse to talk about my lack of pullup ability.

As recently as last June, I could do eleven natural grip or seven wide grip pullups starting wityh feet on the floor. I could do five in a row from a hang, and this was at my fattest, 230 lbs. By September, I was down to 205 and probably could have done more, but I didn't even try. Then I had my surgery. I tried to do pullups just the other day, but quickly realized that I can't even do one. Not one.

Granted, I'm fat again, 210. But 210 is my settling weight. It's where I always seem to end up if I'm working out at all. No, it's not the weight, it's the pain. Oh my God it hurts.

I had been doing some light weight work for rehab, and it's been long enough that I should be better. I can now bench... well... 100 lbs! without pain. But pain is a scary thing, and pullups make that pain. And I don't want to do pullups.

Pullups were always my thing. I know they are a relative weight thing, but I always considered them a good gauge of overall fitness. I mean I couldn't run or lift much as a kid, but I could do pullups and pushups all day. Of course, I was a skinny fuck, but still... Even after I got heavier I made sure I could do pullups. Now I'm a forty-five year old pudgy dude who can't do a single pullup, or even try without squealing like the hatchback on a chevy vega (monza wagon? whatever).

What about your overhead press? Said no one. Well, says maddad of his historical weak point, 75 lbs. No pain. On the right side. The left...


Also, can't get my average speed on the bike above 16 mph when I'm outside. I can do 24-25 on the rollers. Is it wind? Hills? dunno. Feels faster than it is. I don't really care since I don't do group rides, but I'm running out of excuses to not to, and I need to get my speed up.

I keep telling myself that the faster I go, the sooner I can get my sore ass off of the road bike and on to the mountain bike, and I get to drive my super-sweet convertible to the trails. Still, no speed gains.

Maybe it's time to get some new bikes. I'm riding 1990's tech, because I'm cheap. I don't want to spend $1000 bucks on two bikes when $1000 will get me new Weber carburetors. I think I need the carbs more than the bikes.

Until one breaks. Then all bets are off.

Anyway. I think I like fixing them more than I like riding them.

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So that's the way it is...


A couple of things...

Firstly, I finally figured out what is wrong with the line breaks on this here blog. I was having issues with the way posts looked, probably because I haven't updated my template since 2004. I'm still not going to update my template, because I like it and I don't want to think about it that much. Kinda the same reason that I'm down to posting every third month or so. I'm posting today because I had a trip scheduled to Houston and Houston decided that they'd rather have 200 inches of rain. So I didn't go to Houston. Somewhere on this blog is my story about getting the last plane out of Houston before Hurricane Ike. Followed by the post where I explain how Hurricane Ike knocked out the power around here for six months and we had to eat several of my children. That didn't make me change my blog template, and neither will this.

Secondly, I'm getting a lot of shit about Trump. Here's the thing. Trump is running as a Republican. I'm not a Republican. If you are, I don't care if he upsets you. Fuck off.

Really though, if you are still a Republican after McCain and Romney, after the lies and bullshit of the McConnells and the Boehners, after the contempt of the Ryans, then you got bigger problems than Trump. No one is voting for Trump because he's the "conservative" candidate, or because he represents some deeply held principals. He isn't and doesn't. This is a fucking game. Voting for Trump isn't even a big middle finger to the "establishment" GOP, because he's no different than any of the fucking loud-mouth, lying, "tea-party" types who got elected last time around and screwed us all to the wall. You know, the ones that got elected by promising to repeal Obamacare and support the troops, then fully funded obamacare and cut veteran's benefits? Those assholes? Yeah. Trump's just like them.

One thing though. Trump did say he was going to build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. Wow, everyone got excited. Everyone laughs at that. Even the other candidates. But when pushed, Trump said he'd tax the shit out of money traveling back to Mexico. A massive tax on renumeration. Now we all know that Wells Fargo and Western Union will never let that pass our Republican majority congress, but it is the only thing that would work to reduce illegal immigration and I'm glad Mr. Berlusconi mentioned it.

So go on, get in your on-line girl fights over who's the REAL conservative in the GOP primary race, I don't care because there isn't one. I'm voting, if I vote, Libertarian. Because it's just as meaningless as a vote for Cruz, Kasich or Trump, and while I'm still allowed, I will.

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Go cats


My alma mater won the NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship. I have been preoccupied. I'll post on some of the moronic things I've been thinking later. It'll be good (ha!), I promise.
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the pachyderm in the parlor


I've been avoiding this, but can't anymore. Let's talk about Trump. Donald Trump will be the next President of the United States. No two ways about it. If the GOP burns itself to the ground over Trump's win in the primary, all I can say is good riddance to old rubbish. Burn baby, burn. Do I want to vote for Trump? Hell no. Did I want to vote for anyone in the GOP primary? Ehhh... maybe Rand Paul or Scott Walker, but not really. I think Cruz is a jackass, but I'll vote for him if Trump drops out. Rubio is a whore and Kasich is Mitch McConnell without the frog suit, so they never should have been in the race to begin with. Kasich is vying for VP, that's pretty clear by now. I invested a lot of time, effort and emotion into trying to reverse the current course of the country. I voted for the "True Conservative", I agitated for the "Tea Party", and I was lied to. I was made to look like an idiot. After being hornswaggled by Harry Reid after the 2010 elections we followed up in 2012, with a fucking mandate to destroy Obamacare. And who gets the nomination? Mitt Romney. A slap in the face. Veterans benefits were cut by the people who "care about the troops". Budgets were passed by the same group so opposed to Obamacare that they voted to repeal it five or six times, when they could, because it was safe and before the election and they knew it wouldn't pass. And now the GOP wants amnesty, just like they wanted "Healthcare Reform". And they are willing to die on that sword. Well, they will. The VAST majority of this country is opposed to illegal immigration. A bigger majority is sick to death of "political correctness" especially in regards to terrorism and Islam. And a good plurality is sick of one-way free-trade. Add to that that over the years people have gotten tired of the preacher shtick that Republicans have used to guarantee their God-botherer base, and there's only one guy who is talking like they are thinking. That's Trump. And all the Glen Beck hysterics and hashtagNeverTrumps will go the way of never voting for Romney and never voting for McCain. You'll vote for him because Cruz has no chance and the other party will nominate a criminal. Trump's running as a Republican. That's only because he can. There is no room on the Democrat Party for anyone who isn't a moral scold, a charge that used to stick only to Republicans, and I might add, still does. But if you think that the people voting for Trump are voting for him because he's a Republican or because he's a Conservative you are badly, badly mistaken. Trump is neither, and the people voting for him may once have been, but are no longer. I would bet that a lot of them are Democrats. The squealing arguments against him coming from the "establishment", and that includes to co-opted and corrupt "Tea Parties", have no authority over these voters. They've been written off by one party and taken for granted by the other. This is their collective "Fuck You". But the POLLS! They say Trump will lose to Hillary! And the polls said Mitt Romney would beat Obama, and the Democrats would hold on to the Senate. The polls are bullshit. Trump is a lot more popular than people realize, just like Obama is, and after the election, when Trump is remodeling the White House, there's gonna be hell to pay.
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