One of my favorite bloggers, and one of the most frequent blogs that I've linked to over the years, died on Feb 27 after what seems to be a very sudden onset illness. The PreSurfer aka Gerard Vlemmings.
He had an eye for the neatest things, and I visited his site almost every day that I was at my desk. In the early days we exchanged some emails and left comments on each other's stuff. He's one of the four bloggers that I ever gave my real name and email address to. It's a shame that in these days of a sharply cleaved internet there's almost no one left to simply entertain us. I'll miss that about Gerard.
How to create a black market. I went to the same high school as Mayor Kenney, and I am positive he actually went to class, instead of drinking and smoking in the parking lot like me. If this is what going to class gets you, I'm going to let my kids drink and smoke in the parking lot and win the fucking race.
I disabled my facebook account and you should too. Notice that I didn't DELETE my facebook account. Ima tell you why. When you disable your facebook account you can still get access to the information that you have posted on facebook. When you DELETE your facebook account you will lose that access. But, you say, all that stuff is DELETED, why would you need access to it? Because... WRONG! It's not deleted. You lose access, it gets hidden, but it's not gone. I'm going to assume that what happens is that when you delete your account a user-specific key attached to your data gets removed and that makes it impossible to find any user-specific data tied to your account. But, the data is still there, backed up on multiple hosts and in multiple data centers. Plus, remember that facebook makes its money from selling ads and analytics, deleting all that data would have an effect on those, even if its small. Did he post about bikes? Yes! Sell ad space to bike stores. Do you think they want to lose any of the very valuable metrics from four years of tracking my interests? And it's not even really malicious, it's just a big ol' pain in the ass to actually delete that stuff. So. Since it's never going to go away, I want to pretend that I have some control over it. Like I pretend to have over the rest of my life.
Now. WHY did I disable my facebook account? Jesus Christ people, why not? Oh my God, what an absolute shitshow. Liars, fakers, morons, reposters, creepy people, drama queens and assholes. And that's just my family. Who wants to see that? But the worst, the absolute FUCKING WORST, is the people who I KNOW ARE STUPID who pretend to be some kind of scientific genius. Look here. If you majored in theater... Thom (for fuck's sake you spell your short name with a letter "h")... you are not an expert in quantum physics. I happen to know you failed college physics TWICE. I was your lab partner both times. I only failed it ONCE (incomplete, actually). Which means that I must be motherfucking Einstein. I can handle seeing the guys that I've seen have sex with strangers in hotel elevators be all kissyface with their wives on facebook, that's guilt, I get it. But I can't take the fucking paste eating psychology majors posting about the beauty of prime numbers. You got a 200 on the math side of the SAT! You've never balanced a checkbook! You're an ape who uses a fork! I'm not calling out this one by name, because I think you read this occasionally, or you did. But now you know that I know that you are an idiot, or you would, but I'm actually not sure you can read anything heavier than a buzzfeed slideshow. And since it's not cool to insult people on facebook, since we're all "friends" I'm back here, where I can insult anyone I want.
You bunch of fucking idiots.
It's NOT all I do, but this morning I woke up from a dream. A dream where I was at my High School reunion and when someone asked what it was that I did for a living, I said that I was a professional hoarder. Who had appeared on "Hoarders", "Hoarders; Buried Alive", "Extreme Hoarders, Internet Edition", "Animal Hoarders", and, as soon and Missus Blumpkin has her kittens, "Extreme Animal Hoarders."
To impress people, because what I actually do for a living is soooooooooo boring.