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Wup, I'm Messed up.


In 1994 I was living in Marietta, GA. That year it rained from May1st to June 3rd non-stop. I remember news reports of caskets being washed down the streets of Macon from flooded cemeteries and and raw sewage flowing through the parks of Atlanta. It was so nasty that I remember scrubbing the baseboards and legs of our furniture with bleach to get the mildew off, since, being a very recent transplant from the North, I did not know that anywhere south of the Mason Dixon line, the airconditioner runs from ma 1st to october 1st non-stop, for reasons other than the heat. Every night at 11 (I was younger then) I'd watch the news to see the weather and get bombarded with 'global warming' stories. Now I'd been a global warming skeptic for a while before the floods, mainly because one of the reasons I had moved to Atlanta to begin with was the winter of '93-'94, which, for Philadelphia, was a very sucky winter. If you've ever had to drive from Villanova to Fort Washington, PA you'll know that drive sucks. If you have to do it in a suit, during an ice storm, for a job interview, well, you know why I moved. In fact, the day I left for Atlanta, the Delaware Memorial Bridge was closed due to falling ice. It was MARCH! If you have to know why I was taking the Delaware Memorial bridge to get to Atlanta when I lived in Gulph Mills, the answer is - I didn't LEAVE from Gulph Mills, get it? (Maddad hums Jersey Girl to himself). Anyway I sat on the approach to that bridge for an hour and a half, it took me fourteen hours to get to Stockbridge, GA; where it was 70 degrees at 1;30 in the morning. Thanks for the coffee Dana.

That summer, 1994 started wet, then gradually got hot as hell, as is normal in Atlanta and one night, on the news, they had a climatologist on. This guy was just back from Antarctica, where he was drilling core samples. He showed a graph of temperature variations he got from analyzing his core samples. His conclusion? From the time modern man appeared on the earth, to now theres been a pretty specific pattern of warming and cooling. We are on a warming trend, but as recently as the 1850's there was a mini ice age. Since 1850 or so, the atmosphere has become more polluted, but remember in 1815, Tambora erupted causing the 'year without a summer' due to aerosol emissions. Think about it, Tambora, Karaktoa, Pinatubo, all of them have had a larger effect on the atmosphere than all of the crap humans have put into the atmosphere ever! (Wow, thanks Google). Anyway, after the guy showed his graph charting the climate from like 10,000 BC to 1995, I was deeply skeptical of the one showing a virtually perpendicular line from 1900 to 2000 (relative to temperature). Called the "broken hockey stick" this graph charted the standard deviation in degrees Celsius from the 1961-1990 mean. It's also, evidently, full of shit.

Y'know, I may be halfway through a bottle of lousy Chardonnay. . .Hey, someone tell my Dad I finally broke open that bottle of Chardonnay he bought in August. And it sucks, well, the first couple of glasses sucked, this one's OK. I expect they'll get better from this point on. And someone tell Fox, that a blowout by the Eagles is better than a blowout by the Browns, OK? No one in Kentucky gives a crap about the freakin' Bengals. Half the state is still in mourning over the Miami loss and the other half is still gloating that Lousyville choked. Not to mention, everyone's favorite Judd was at Midnight Madness Friday. In other words,the Bengals suck, OK?

incidentally, since there's no MLB in either Louisville or Indianapolis, everyone here thinks they have to lay down for the fuckin' Reds. I'm sorry, they suck. Junior's had more DL time than Jim McMahon, and Jimmy played FOOTBALL for Christ's sake.

I'm rooting for a St. Louis/New York Series. It'll happen, but St. Louis will get blown out. Life isn't fair, and neither is the American League. DH pussies.

So, here' a gratuitous picture for friends and family, The Beast, messing with his Leap Pad.

Oh, I'm trouble.


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