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First in a Series of Posts on Undying Truths


Spend hours and days writing a post, paper or book about the role that freedom of speech has had in creating modern American political freedom, then end that post, paper or book with the phrase, "nevertheless, Asians and old people can't and shouldn't drive." And you will be called a racist or a Nazi within minutes of the work being published.

This is an Undying Truth.

So is the fact that old people and Asians can't and shouldn't drive. That one too.

The Missing Monday


I'd like to thank Blogger for eating yesterday's post. It amuses me to see three and a half minutes of misspelled blather disappear into the ether. I am even more amused to see the return of the "recover post" feature in the Blogger Dashboard. But I suppose you get what you pay for.

Yesterday's post was all about my Thanksgiving trek to Oshkosh Wisconsin in my rental van. I can't remember what I posted, but I do know that God did not want me to to lose my stereotypical view of Wisconsin weather and dropped temperatures 30 degrees over night and sent 40 mile an hour wind gusts and two inches of snow down from Canada just so I could make bad jokes.

I would lose my brother-in-law card if I didn't make bad jokes. It also helps to say things like, "What kind of freak would live up here? Are you all insane? This is hell I tell you, HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" at the dinner table. I may have been overreacting, but it was 8 degrees out with a wind chill of -3, and I am not so fat that I don't feel the cold. Yet.

So it was just a three day cold snap, and by the time we got back to good old Kentuckiana on Saturday it was 62 degrees and we were not wearing coats. Very nice.

When we got home we had company, the Huttons, friends we made as newlyweds in Atlanta were up in Madison for Thanksgiving. What a hoot.

I did finally get my car back. And I am using every ounce of self control I have not to drive that sucker down to the nearest Toyota dealer and trade it in. I want a new car. A Sienna minivan. I want it. I want it, I want it IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTIT! I DON'T WANT MY CAR ANYMORE! I WANT THAT ONE! THE RED ONE. WITH THE GPS. IWANTITIWANTIT WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Arrgh. Days like today make me want to go find Dave Ramsey and kick him in the nuts.

I'm going to put the rest of this tantrum in the extended entry so I can use rough language when I describe my car. Like piece of shit, and crap mobile. You can click read more if you want to.

So I was saying I got my car back. The transmission was replaced, so was the radiator. Amazing what you can find wrong with a car when you actually do the work you've been paid to do, isn't it? Evidently the transmission cooler didn't work. The flow through the radiator was blocked. This is probably what caused our first tranny to go out, and probably why we had been getting only about 30,000 miles out of each transmission before they'd fail. The dealer ended up replacing the radiator, the tranny, and everything connected. Now all we have to do is get the oil pressure sensor, all the gaskets and bolts changed and the fuel level sending unit changed and my car will be as good as it was when it was new. Basically, a piece of shit time-bomb.

But it's a paid-for piece of shit time-bomb. And I've got the money to fix it, because of Dave F'in' Ramsey. And I really like not having a car payment, and let's face it, I was looking forward to trading my trusty old volvo for a trusty newer volvo. Maybe a wagon.

But dear old Dave Ramsey doesn't tell you about the physical symptoms of new car fever. I swear to God it's as bad as quitting smoking. It is almost impossible to make a rational decision. And a rational decision is to spend the money to fix the car, because $1000 is a lot less than $13000 bucks. Even if I put $1000 per year into that car, I would still be saving money over a new car. That kind of math pisses me off. Really. I want a new car. IWANNANEWCAR! WHAAAAAAAAAA!

All I can say is I know why GM is going out of business. And I can tell you in three words: Buick, Chevy and Pontiac. If you've driven any of these cars, and I drive LOTS of rental cars, you'd see that these cars are crap compared to Toyota, Honda, Nissan and heck, even Mitsubishi. And I don't want to hear any "buy American" crap. Toyotas and Hondas and BMW's and Mercedes are assembled here, and one of the largest, if not the largest, employer in this particular town makes parts for Toyota. Our Chevy van was assembled in Mexico, our old Plymouth was assembled in Canada, so take that BS and shove it. When people say "Buy American" what they mean is "Buy UAW" and that means buy piss-poor crap that falls apart because it's put together by a bunch of people with no thought or regard for quality, no pride n their work and no buy-in to the chief business goals of the company they work for. Because they aren't working for the company, they work for the Union, and that particular business model is outmoded. How many people have to lose their jobs before the workers wise up and realize that?

Maybe GM should go ESOP, then go bankrupt.

I did give myself a little car related present. The rocker panel molding fell off last spring, and I had bought two-sided tape to put it back on because I was worried about water and salt getting in through the holes where the thing was connected. But at some point over the summer, the kids used the tape to hang crap on the walls. So I went to FCP Groton's website and bought the clips to reattach the molding. So once I get new wheelcovers, and maybe a carwash, the volvo won't look like a rolling leper any more.

Happy Thanksgiving!


I'm on my way to Oshkosh in a rented van, just in time for the first big snow. I'll have to deal with morose Packer fans, screaming kids and Indianapolis Colts triumphalism. To those of you who are outside of the US; visa's aren't that tough to get, what are you waiting for? You're missing a great holiday.

Google Analytics - Good or Evil?


An old thead from Threadwatch.org. I've got to admit it. I have Google analytics running on my main page. It took a while to get the data, but once it came in I was impressed.

Turns out there's some idiot from Dublin interested in the goings on around here. Other than that, really, not a lot of people stop by. Those that do are very welcome, that's why I'm on the internet and not writing this in my fuzzy pink diary.

If you are reading this from Mountain View California, please don't fire me.

And to the guy that got here from the "enema boy" search. That's just nasty, OK. Nasty.

In short, Google Analytics may be evil, but it's free. And I'm cheap, dirt cheap.

I'm also willing to be compromised, especially if money's involved.

Still thinking GM?

My, my.

GM intake Leak Site !

This guy was mad.

GM Expected to Announce Plant Closings

This shouldn't surprise anyone. I'll give you a reason right here. From 1997 to 2002 the GM 3.4 and 3.6 liter v6 engine was shipped with defective lower intake manifold gasket. Now, GM, being a public spirited company, does nothing. So I am stuck, paying for a replacement part. Of course GM knows it's a problem.

But, this problem isn't widespread, they say. Evidently, it's just me.

Today's Geek Out


Posting today from Fedora Core 4 running in a VMware session on my laptop. I'm thinking I might blow away the Slackware again, and see if I can get ALSA to recognise my sound card. I don't know why, but I really like Gnome and Fedora, runs really nice.

Of course, this machine is a lot faster than my Toshiba, but the install is lighter too, I'm running the workstation install on a 4 gig partition.

I used to have the Debian isos, maybe I'll give them a try.

ooooooooo so geeeeeekkkkkyyyyyyyyy, anyone else turned on?

I'd rather push my Volvo...

...than buy another Chevy.

I have a 17 year-old volvo I've been driving for almost 12 years. I have, based on my receipts, spent a little over $3300 in mechanics repairs over that time. The big repairs were for wheel bearings and electrical work (overdrive relay) in 1996 and a complete overhaul overhaul in 2000. Last year I had to buy two new fuel pumps, because I had been driving around with the in-tank pump dead for about a year and I burned the in-line pump out. The volvo has left me stranded once, and I have replaced the ignition relay (the reason I was stranded) twice, both times with remanufactured parts. I do my own oil changes and brake work. So I don't count that, and I don't count tires.

Right now I need new tires, a right front turn signal assembly, and either my kickdown cable is kinked or I need to bypass the overdrive solenoid because I'm not shifting into overdrive when I should. No too bad a repair.

Let's talk Chevy. I bought a 2001 Chevy Venture Minivan new in 2001. In 2003, while still under warranty, we had a fuel system problem, the cheap plastic on the front cup holders cracked and the little utility trunk in the back broke too. So did the cheap plastic on the rear fold-down seat. Later that year, the transmission went and had to be re-built, after my wife and I spent 130 bucks on a "transmission service" from the dealer and the dealer didn't find anything wrong.

So fast-forward to Wednesday, the service engine light comes on in the van. We had an appointment to take it in for a free oil change at the dealer, so while we were there we had them run the codes, and we asked them to check the tranny, because we've been feeling a hesitation when shifting. Well, they call us and say, no biggie on the codes, just time for maintenance, your oil level dropped below a certain level. (huh?) And nothing's wrong with your tranny. Now we've got an extended waranty on the tranny because I bitched up a storm when it went out at 30k miles, and it runs out in another 2000 miles. We're going to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving and taking the van, so I was pretty happy we didn't need any work. So fine, we get the car back yesterday. I get in to take the kids to school and the service engine light is on. Not only that, but the transmission whines like a mo-fo going up hills. So I bring it back. They tell me the codes must be new, total crap, and that in order to check the tranny out they will need to drop the pan and do a complete service, for you guessed it, 130 bucks. If something turns out to be wrong with the tranny, then it's a waranty repair.

So yesterday afternoon I get a call from the dealer. The intake manifold gasket is shot, the oil pressure sending unit is toast, the fuel level sending unit is gone. Total 1700 big ones. Oh yeah, nothing's wrong with your tranny, there was some air in the lines. (Air in the lines, I'm retarted right?) So a couple of quick phone calls later, I find a guy who'll do it all for around a grand and I call the dealer back and tell them to put it back together, I'll pay you for the service and take the car home. Oh, he says, you can't take it home, it's still up on the lift and everyone has left to take some certiication class, no one will be able to put it back together until tomorrow at 9am.

Fine, I say, I'll be there at 9 to pick it up, I'd like it outside.

So this morning I get a call from the dealer who says that they did find metal shavings in the tranny case, that the whole thing drained over night and that's why they saw them, normally, they only drain about 10% of the pan, keep in mind I was paying $130 bucks for them to do maintenance on my transmission. (He really does think I'm retarted.) So the transmission needs to be re-built. Again. Second time in 70,000 miles.

I'm being generous with the miles there, maddmom tells me it's closer to 63k. So, in 250k miles my crappy old volvo has cost me less than double what my four year old van will cost one year after the waranty has expired.

My father-in-law bought a Toyota Avalon in the same week we bought the Venture, he has blown out the miles on the thing, he's up to 80k and he's never had it in the shop.

We traded a 96 Plymouth Voyager for the Venture, the Voyager had 100k miles on it, and we bought it used, we had never had it in the shop.

Tell me again why GM is looking at bankruptcy? I won't buy a GM car again. I haven't told you about the power sliding door, or the fun we had buying the damn thing to begin with.

Lousy cars, arrogant, shifty dealers, and terrible service is no way to run a car company.

You want the name of the dealer? I'll post it depending on what he says when I go to pick the car up.

Dog Update


You might remember a little while back Scamper, my dog, had been hit by a car. Well after 5 days at the vet, and another week living in the kid's old playpen, I'm happy to say he's almost completely healed up. The car hit him on the tail side and broke hid hips, actually seperated his left hip from his backbone. But he went from not moving at all to hopping a bit to chasing birds again, dummy. He's pretty much back to his old self, at least 85% of his old self. He'll always limp a little, but as time goes on, he should get better and better.

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The Enforcer

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We are all going to die...


I got my blood work back from my life insurance physical. I looked good, I thought, until I read the note that came along with it. Seems that they wanted more blood from me because they used up all I sent at the office lobster boil. Seems that my blood is almost identical in composition to that garlic butter crap that comes in a Papa John's pizza. That's OK though, I can handle it. I just have to start eating oatmeal three times a day and taking Lipitor.

I'm begining to feel a little skeptical about life insurance lately. I have been working out three times a week for the last two years in an effort to get into some kind of shape (really, I just wanted to be able to see my penis again without having to move anything out of the way, anything of mine anyway har..har..). And so far, it's been workig pretty well, I dropped from 215 to 190 and my body fat fell from around "OH MY GOD!" to "If that guy stopped eating whole sticks of salted butter, he might be in shape". Now I'm hovering between 195 and 200, mostly because I changed jobs, and my feeding schedule went way, way off the mark. But, I still work out, just to annoy my wife. So basically, with all the working out, the fancy new job and the visible penis, I decided it was time to get me some life insurance.

Life insurance is a good thing to have if you have kids, but the process of applying for life insurance just sucks. Because if you are below 35, don't smoke and are in good health, you are quoted amazing rates, like $4 million dollars of 20 year level term for $.08 a day! And you bite, you say, gimme some 'o that! Then you get the questionaire.

Are you allergic to anything? - sure! .
Have you smoked or used any tobacco products in the last two years? - no, he says smugly
Have you lost more than 10 pounds in the last two years? - can you tell? really?
Do you take any over the counter medicines or supplements? - vitamins, jack, and lots of them.
When was the last time you had a coke fueled orgy with seven Hatian hookers, a miniature horse and the old guy who sits on the folding chair at the front of the liquor store? - um...
Fess up. - well..
Just a date, pal. - Never happened.
We have pictures. - >sob<

Pretty innocuous, right? I mean most of the hookers made it home alive and the horse was delicious, and these weren't bad questions at all. I am superman, insure me!

The next step is the physical, where they send a nurse to your house and she weighs you, takes your blood pressure, asks you the same questions you answered on the application (to try and catch you in a LIE) and takes some blood and pee. Fun gig, nothing like transporting someone elses pee for a living.

You are in limbo from here on in, you know some things, your blood pressure
(118\84) your BMI (26.5) and your resting heart rate (60), but you don't know two things. One, what was in your blood and two, what the hell is a BMI anyway?

What's a BMI? Why it's the Bullshit Measurement Index, of course. I'm 6 feet tall, even. I'm about 196. If you follow the istructions to get a BMI you'll see that I am overweight. Very overweight. In order to reduce my BMI to below 25 where it should be according to the life insurance people I'd have to weigh about 180. I weighed 180 when I got married eleven years ago, I had a 32 inch waist, no ass at all, and my ribs poked through my shirt. I couldn't afford food, but evidentally you aren't allowed to eat anymore or you will become fat, and by fat I mean not fat, but not really, really skinny. And don't we all want to be really, really skinny. I mean look, the only way I'd make it to 180 is if my body fat dropped to around 9%. 9% body fat is where you look like the queen in the jockstrap and rollerblades at the gay pride parade. You know, the guy so lean you can make out what's left of the gerbil through the skin on the small of his back. In short, not me. Ever. So I'm paying more for that.

As for what's in your blood, I'll tell you right now, because I know. Your lipids are high, and your bilirubin is elevated. Your blood sugar's OK, but borderline, but that's because they forgot to tell you to fast and you had a cup of tea. If you are a man, and are over 30 your cholesterol is high.

Yes, it is.

And because your cholesterol is high, you are going to die at some point. Therefore, instead of paying the great rate we quoted you, you will pay the fat, sick, drunk rate.

You see, nowadays your cholesterol should be under 200. Thanks to the people at Merck and friends it can be. with daily ingestion of a little pill that merk and friends happen to make. Say, $30 per month, give or take, based on your coverage. Coincedentally, $30 bucks per month is almost EXACTLY what you would pay the life insurance company if you decided to say, screw it, pass the cheesesteak, if I'm going to burn out, at least I'll burn for a good long time.

It's a conspiracy, and I know it. Here's how. First, margarine is suddenly and mysteriously bad for you after years and years of it being the only thing standing between you and a massive MI. Second, the Atkins Diet appears and gives everyone a second shot at red meat. Basically, you knew you were going to screw up your diet anyway, wasn't it easier to screw it up by eating the dinner rolls that came with the 40oz sirloin? Third, the BMI appears, you're so fat you don't even look it! Fourth, Mandy Patinkin shows up on TV in bad loafers telling us that our cholesterol is too high. Who can resist the charms of Inigo Montoya?

So, for $30 bucks a month to a pharmacuetical company, plus whatever my health insurance pays, I can pay $30 less per month to my life insurance company, which is heavily invested in the pharmaceutical company. My life insurance company will offset its losses better, due to increased profits at the pharmaceutical company and since my life insurance company is a mutual company, at the end of the year I get a bigger dividend.

That's Jesuit training for you. I am at the center of a global conspiracy so vast that I had no idea I put it in to motion until I sat down to write about it here.

I expect to poison myself with a rare toxin made from ball-point pen ink later today. Maybe 5:55pm.

Swine Flu Epidemics


Swine Flu Epidemics

History's Worst Software Bugs


From Geekpress



Jordanians to al-Zarqawi: �Burn in hell�

Back in the (geek) saddle


OK, I am finished setting up Slackware on the Toshiba. By finished I mean WIRELESS WORKS! WHOO HOOO! So I will update you all on what I had to do to accomplish this feat.

First of all, here's my hardware:

Toshiba Tecra 8000 (circa 1999): free
P2 266, 256meg RAM. CD, 9gigHD
Belkin F5D7010 Wireless G PCMCIA card: $34
3com 10\100 PCMCIA ethernet card: free

HD partitions:
/dev/hda1 - 2gig NTFS partition, Windows 2000
/dev/hda2 - ext2 partition 6 gig
the rest is swap.

I'm using LILO to boot, installed in the MBR.

Still interested? Check the extended entry.

I downloaded the Slackware 10.2 isos from the torrent on the slackware site and installed from the cds. The install went very well, but since I was picking individual packages to load (not a lot of disk space), it did take a long time. I set up KDE as default X, and was able to set up my display and ethernet adapter immediately. Sound wasn't found and I had to run alsaconfig to get it working.

My wireless usb devive was not supported and I didn't like it anyway, so I bought the Belkin. I bought it for two reasons, it's fast and it's cheap. Unfortunately it's also not supported.

Ndiswrapper is supposed to be able to load windows drivers to use with linux, and I was having a real tough time loading them. I ran through hundreds of web pages and man pages until I finally got the idea that I was on the wrong kernel. Slack 10.2 ships with the 2.4.31 kernel, but the 2.6.13 kernel is on the cds. So I loaded up the 2.6.13 kernel and tried again.

Again, I tried ndiswrapper, found better drivers (BCMWL5a.ini) for the card, but i still couldn't get the damn card to be recognised. So I gave up and downloaded Driverloader from Linuxant.

Driverloader worked using the drivers off of the cd that came with the Belkin card. So all I needed to do was to configure the card. Easy, right? Wrong. The wireless configuration applet in KDE blows monkeys. I had to get rid of WEP in order to see the access point, then edit /etc/rc.d/rc.inet1.conf (USE_DHCP[4]=yes and add the name of my essid.

Done. Not bad for three weeks of work. Now,should I get rid of my Windows partition? Or keep it for playing games?

USA TODAY/ESPN has 'Nova #4 and Louisville #8


Kentucky #10 and IU at #22.

Is it too early to get excited?  Louisville's in the Big East now.

Villanova #5


Oh boy, this is gonna be good.  And. TO got fired.  On the road, I'll update when I get back.

Fatherhood's the Shit, Yo.


So Monday the Beast crapped his pants. Twice. Yesterday he does it again. And I'm not talking skidmarks either, I'm talking some pretty big piles. And since this whole site started with a post about the Beast's bowel movements, I figured, if you're reading this, you're probably interested.
Go clicky on the read more thingy.
So he's crapping his pants, I think I know why, it's because he's addicted to "The Legend of Zelda, The Ocarina of Time" and every time he leaves the computer, one of his brothers snakes it out from under him. Understandable, but still nasty. Now I believe this is the case, but maddmom doesn't. She's still, after all this time, thinking like a girl. She thinks something's wrong. Something is wrong, I tell her, he's been playing for days and is still stuck in the Dooku Tree. Does he need special ed? But she prevails and Dr. Holly is called.

Now here again, Dr. Holly is a girl, and therefore does not understand the little boy mindset. Which is; if I get up to poop, Gabe will take over my game. I can let a little squeeze out, nobody will be the wiser. What Dr. Holly says is this: Sometimes when little kids are constipated it hurts to go potty, so they don't bother and some more liquid feces might get around the blockage and leak out into their underwear. OK, sounds good. What do we need to do about it?

Give the Beast an enema.

Which my wife translates as ,"Maddad, Dr Holly says you need to give the Beast an enema." The first thought that passed through my mind when I heard this was that this is Dr Holly's husband's way of getting even with me for not returning his chainsaw, which has been in the trunk of my car for about a month. The second thing was, how do you give a four year old boy an enema? Having never received the sacrament of Holy Orders, I'm a novice in this department.* I do, however excel in scaring the crap out of little kids, literally. So Beast and I are off to the backyard, to hang out a while, and I bring it up.

"Beast," says I, "did you poop your pants?"
"Not now.", says the Beast.
"Do you have to poop?"
"Not really."
"Could you poop, if you went and sat on the toilet?"
"Probably, but I'd have to wait a long time, I got lots of poop."
"Son, listen. You're in lots of poop. Your Mom called the doctor because you've been pooping in your pants..."
"Skidmarks, Hayden calls them skidmarks."
"Those aren't skidmarks, Beast. That was a dump, a whole one, and Mom wants me to give you an enema so you don't do it again."
"What's an enema?"
"Well Beast," says I, "an enema is when I take you outside, Mom takes your pants off and holds you upside down by your feet, then I squirt dishsoap in your buttcrack and spray your heinie full of water from the hose. The we sit you up on the toilet and all the food you ate in the last week comes out your butt."
"Upside down?"
"Upside down."
"You squirt my butt with the hose?"
"That hose right over there. Dr Holly gave me directions, she said to use a whole bottle of soap."
"I don't want that."
"Well, start pooping in the toilet, and I'll keep Gabe away from your game, deal?"

That was that, two hours later, he comes to me to tell me he pooped in the potty. Success. I was very happy, because I'm really getting tired of poop. I mean really. We've got a baby who poops and a four year old who poops. A seven year old who poops with the door open, and a ten year old who only poops in the powder room in the hallway off of the kitchen right before dinnner. Then we have the dog with the broken hip, who needs his ass wiped after he poops, and a cat who poops in a box in the basement, right next to my office. An office that right now, thanks to the cat, smells like poop.

I mean, I have nothing against pooping, I'm all for it, I just don't want to deal with anyone else's for a while, you know? I don't want to have to help out the little boy who ate a whole spool of mint flavored floss (oh yeah, it happened), I don't want to have to unclog the toilet after another little boy dropped a plastic ambulance down the crapper while he was pooping and then flushed. I don't want to spend half an hour hosing off the lawn mower because no one pooper scooped the yard before I mowed. An I really don't want to have to listen to my neighbors tell the story about how one of my boys walked into their backyard, dropped trou, and took a crap during their barbecue for their niece's baptism.

So I'm done with crap, I'm not messing with anyone else's from now on, I'll let you know how this all works out.

* knock it off, you laughed, admit it.

Halloween Picture


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Copy Protected CDs from Sony will Rootkit your box.


Mark's Sysinternals Blog: Sony, Rootkits and Digital Rights Management Gone Too Far Check it, then throw those CD's away and re-image your box, because you aren't as good with Windows as this guy.

And that brings me to the latest with ndiswrapper. seems BCMWL5a.inf will load, and my machine sees my adapter with lspci, but the hardware is not turned on, so if anyone can tell me how to get the damn thing to power on at boot, I'd be really happy.

Belkin 7010 wireless PCMCIA on Slackware 10

Right, Geek time.

I haven't given up on my Slackware distro yet, but I'm really getting tired. My Cheapie PCMCIA wireless card is not working yet. I've tried pretty much everything I can think of. At least until I noticed that ndiswrapper 1.4 isn't up in the stable section of sourceforge. Looks like ndiswrapper 1.5 took its place. Well I'll be. If you wanna read the poop, gotta click read more.Here's my deal. Compiled ndiswapper-1.4 like so:
make distclean
make install

so far so good.

ndiswrapper -i /ntfs-c/Drivers/BCMWL5.inf
installing drivers.....
Invalid Driver! bcmwl5.inf

AARRGH ! so to check it out:

ndiswrapper - l
Invalid driver! bcmwl5.inf

So I uninstall:

ndiswrapper -e /ntfs-c/Driver/BCMWL5.inf
No drivers installed!

HUH? So I check:
ndiswrapper - l
Invalid driver! bcmwl5.inf

I curse, I scream, I cry. I check lspci

My card is there. Device # 15:00 BCM4318 So I check to see if I have the right drivers, I do, so I try and install to the device number.

No such device number.

So. After reading the dang ndiswrapper WIKI, I've decided I'll try the BCMWL5a.inf, if that doesn't work, I'll install the 1.2 version, if that doesn't work up to 1.5, if none of that works it's wipe out the install, and go with Linuxant Driverloader.
Wish me luck, or I'm off to buy a new card.


My annual "I'm better than you, I quit smoking" post. So suck it up losers, I'm breaking out the cigars.......ahhhhhhhhh shit!

See also: ONE YEAR!

Tonight is also the twenty-first anniversary of Madmom's and my first smooch. So I'm feeling all mushy. Mostly around the middle. A middle that would be nice and firm if I could still freakin' SMOKE instead of EATING EVERYTHING IN SITE!