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How to start a myth.

8/30/2006

http://www.qando.net/ - AP takes the hatchet to Rumsfeld speech

I think it's getting worse.

Robert McNamara and Jimmy Carter are portrayed as geniuses on the History Channel, the Sandanistas are still freedom fighters in the eyes of millions.

Thousands of dollars are spent to shuttle crazy perverts around the globe to satisfy the ratings craving of a tabloid media.

Millions of people spend every night watching hurricane porn and blaming the weather on six years of politics.

And apparently, if my house gets knocked down, it's up to the federal government to bail me out. Even if I didn't buy flood insurance and live below sea level.

Gaaaaaaaaah! I need a drink.

Damien...This is for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, that's the first thing I thought of.

Yechhh.

So much for sympathy sex...

8/29/2006

Quizzes for MySpace

Why, Lord? Why?...

Why am I the last to know?


Nails makes Bank.

I guess I should have known this, but I didn't. Lenny Dykstra writes an investment advice column for thestreet.com.

Dykstra was my favorite ballplayer, 5'8" tall with 6' shoulders. Steroid addled to the point of on-field homicide. Looked like a cartoon version of King Kong in a Phillies jersey, and when his back wasn't hurt he could run like nobody's business. A demon at the plate, he was hitting .400 for a while in '90, and scoring chicks from Rosemont college at Smokey Joe's with Terry Mulholland and Darren Daulton.

Of course no one thought Mulholland would still be playing twenty years down the chute, and just as many people thought Nails would be dead. Not me.

I knew the guy was a genius.

When you come up with an idea like this, you're going to win big. Originally, according to rumor, slated to open in North Jersey with bikini-clad young girls as the washers, he switched to SoCal, made palaces out of a typically low-rent business and made a fourtune.

No one ever went broke underestimating the tastes of the American consumer. I don't know where I heard that, but it's true. I think, now that I know Nails is dispensing advice, I might start listening to him. One smart dude.

Dude.

PS: I know I haven't been around, I haven't felt like posting. None of you care anyway.

PPS: Yes I fly Comair, no I didn't die. But I don't fly out of Bluegrass for a reason.

Update: This is terrible. Updated again with links to pictures.

8/25/2006

The Elks lodge and old city hall burn in Madison, IN this morning.

What a shame. These were beautiful buildings, I know there was a fantastic apartment up on the top floor of the old City Hall. I'll see if I have any pre-fire pictures.

The whole town smells like smoke, even up here on the hilltop. These were not small buildings, and the are right in the center of downtown, on West street at the bottom of Michigan Road. Right behind Roger's Corner and the Ohio Theater.

It's gonna leave a mark.

Update: Found this picture, from 1905:





Update again: Pictures from the newspaper.

This is terrible

The Elks lodge and old city hall burn in Madison, IN this morning.a>

What a shame. These were beautiful buildings, I know there was a fantastic apartment up on the top floor of the old City Hall. I'll see if I have any pre-fire pictures.

The whole town smells like smoke, even up here on the hilltop. These were not small buildings, and the are right in the center of downtown, on West street at the bottom of Michigan Road. Right behind Roger's Corner and the Ohio Theater.

It's gonna leave a mark.

28 Rules of Manhood

8/24/2006

28 Rules of Manhood

Yes they are.

Easy girls, I'm married...



I know, I know. What took them so long...

Hmmmmm

I feel bad for the kids...

The power windows still don't work and neither do the interior lights

8/23/2006

But it's damn fast for a diesel.

I love the idea of diesel. I really do, but I can't get the image of all those 300SD's smoking down Lancaster avenue every day at 3:30. Seriously, did every girl on the Main Line have one or what?

I remember in the summer of '89 a friend of mine's parents switched from oil heat to natural gas and he sucked it out of the old oil tank in his parent's basement.

If you've stopped by the last couple of days you may have noticed that for some reason my blog looked like hell. I noticed it yesterday when I decided to post from the Dashboard instead of mailing my post on in from the old Blackberry. I tried to fix it, but Blogger was throwing errors every time I published. So, you get what you get. I'll be messing around with my template so I can export my nearly three years of blather and (with maddmom's blessing, of course) start looking around for a hosting company.

I guess in the meantime I'll start writing my posts in something other than yahoo mail on my Backberry or the Blog this! button on my toolbar. Just so I have them around. I know this is boring stuff, but I'm waiting on a phone call and it's what I'm thinking of.

I had a pretty good post going yesterday about ideas. I'm up to the E's at the library and picked out a book I had read before, but a long time ago and thought i'd like to read again. "The Name of the Rose,' by Umberto Echo. Now, I think this guy's a terrific writer, I do, but I began to get a feeling that in order to see his hero as a true hero, you had to buy into the proposition that all ideas are good in and of themselves.

That was probably a bad way of expressing it and I did much better yesterday, but bear with me and email Google and tell them Blogger may be free, but it sucks anyway.

I think there's a significant movement in Literature that would like to believe that all books are good. I mean good in the big way. Not how entertaining or lyrical a story is, but that a book contains ideas, and these ideas are the collected knowledge of the human race, no matter how valid or wrong or bad or misleading the idea may be. So what should follow from that movement is that any kind of censorship is bad. Bad in the big way.

I disagree and I wrote quite a long post about it, and it got eaten.

Censorship!

But anyway, it had a lot to do with the resurgence of the Gnostic gospels, took a turn through the Index an the Office of the Inquisition around the Enlightenment and ended up at conspiracy theories, Hamas faking pictures and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

I'm telling you that post was a laugh riot. But the subtitle of the blog says, "half-formed thoughts" so that's what you get.

So, until I decide what I'm going to do here, you'll see more quick links, rental car reviews, dirty jokes and inside baseball and less half-formed thoughts.

Not that you saw a lot of that before.



Fatigue

8/22/2006

Wow.

School's back in and The Prince, Number Two and The Beast are all packed up and off to school in the morning which leaves me, maddmom and Skippy here for most of the day alone. Should be great, right? Exhausting.

Thank God I'm not travelling (so far) this week, I am wiped out. Diet's shot to hell, not getting time to work out until late, which means I'm sore in the mornings and don't want to get up AND I'm still going to bed too late. Gotta get back on the stick.

On the upside, I'm not on an airplane today. I'm plugged in at home and don't have my dangerous Dell batteries in my laptop. So I feel kinda safe. For now.

maddmom gave Skippy a big-boy haircut the other day and now he looks like he should move out and get a job. It's a little depressing, but we're that much closer to potty training the little stinker so I got that going for me.

Over the last couple of weeks the front yard has become completely overgrown, I can't even bear to look at it. It's not the grass, that's been mowed, it's the beds. We've got these 20 year-old bushes that really need to come out, but I can't work up the energy to rip them out and re-plant the front. I know I'll have to do it someday and I should start now, but it's still hot and I'm tired and whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch moan moan moan.

We went to the Indiana State Fair on Saturday, the kids went on some rides and survived, saw some llama's and ate some junk food, very cool. Liked the FFA pavilion with the free mini-golf and the tractor and combine simulators. But the rides take too much out of you and the damn thing is so BIG, it takes forever to get all the way around and by that time the little kids are wiped out and you miss half of the good stuff. So next year we'll do it different. We'll go counter-clockwise instead of clockwise around the grandstand. See how that works.

Anyway, you can see I got nothing today, go somewhere else on the intarweb for something clever, Lileks was good yesterday.

Thought for the day:

One L lama, that's a priest.
Two L llama, that's a beast.
Three l lllama, that'a fire. I'm getting outta here.

'maters

8/21/2006

 

Buckets full. This is the third picking. maddmom has made thousands of gallons of homemade salsa, which is terrific, and it looks like we'll be getting more.

Incidentally, when you are making homemade salsa, wear rubber gloves. Because, well, let's just say you go and cut up 50 chilis, then have to pee.

Washing hands doesn't work.

Neither does washing Mr Happy. Posted by Picasa

This is an untitled blog post...

8/18/2006

'cause I couldn't do it without cursing.

"This generation, the baby boomlet, is a very odd generation," said Rachel Kleinfeld, 30, the founding director of the Truman National Security Project, a Democrat think tank. "They are much more sexually conservative than the generation before them. They are much more religious than the generation before them. They are very community-oriented. Their numbers on community orientation are like those of the greatest generation, the World War II generation. They are extremely loving of their parents. Many of them call their parents their best friends. And they are also very respecting of authority, but not all types of authority."

For instance, the 9/11 generation respects the military but not the traditional news media or government institutions. If you were born after 1980, you are likely to gather your impressions of the world as much through MySpace as any front page.

"The spin is absolutely mistrusted by this generation," Kleinfeld told a recent gathering of the Democratic Leadership Council. "And they need a politics of conviction."


Um. Says it all really. Kids who trust their parents and respect authority but don't consider the news media or Congress to be athoritative are "odd".

All of this coming from a 30 year-old who started a Democratic think tank with the words "Truman" and "National Security" in the name.

What's not to trust?

A quick observation

Dreaming a happy little dream...

You know in the movies, while the hero is busy fighting the aliens who are busy destroying the planet and killing everyone in sight, the girl he's with gets all upset that she broke a nail\lost a pretty jewel\got her dress dirty\has to run through a mass of rats\broke the heel off of her hundred dollar shoes?

Witness the Church of England and the Anglican Church in Canada.

Manufacturing a crisis to distract itself from the real crisis.

What is it going to take?

So I noticed

8/17/2006

This morning that I was a guy from Indiana reading an Austrailian newspaper in a Canadian airport. I thought that was cool.

Anyway, in September of 2000, I was sitting in Pearson Airport in Toronto waiting for a plane when I sneezed and let loose a humongous nasty loogie right on the carpet. Over the next year and 17 trips until July of 2001, I watched the nasty spot I created get ground in and dirtier and dirtier, until it became a hard black patch on the carpet in gate B7 right by the water fountain.

This morning I was in Pearson for the first time in six years and guess what?

My spot is still there, I saw it while I was waiting for the bus to the A gates. The carpet in gate B7 now has all sorts of holes in it, and while it was once greenish blue, it is now grayish brown, but it's the same carpet.

How nasty is that? I mean, the Louisville Airport has been overhauled twice in that time. Get with it, eh!

Oh, and I dare anyone to walk through that airport without having the song "YYZ" by Rush run through your head, I know I do.

(actually, this morning it was "Red Barchetta" until I realized I had the wrong one going on in there, but hey, same album)

Duh duh duhduh duh duh duhduh.....

Made it

8/15/2006

I survived the trip.  Posting through the majic of email.  Wow, this email stuff is cool.  You can send electronic messages almost instantly.  Now all they need to do is make this work with voice, you know, talk into a microphone and have someone on the other end hear your voice?  That would be cool. 

Seems like a million years ago.

8/14/2006

It's less than two. Unreal. Skippy walks and talks. His hair is still bright white, but it doesn't stick up as much. As a matter of fact, he got his first real haircut and now he looks like a little boy instead of a baby. I have become much better looking.

We don't live in that house any more, I have a different job, kids are in a different school and I have a different car. Gas costs about $1.50 more and the kids eat a hell of a lot more. I'm a lot happier than I was then. Just an overall feeling, you know? But anyway,That's what you get when you go looking through old pictures on your hard drive.

  Posted by Picasa

Maddad saves you all the trouble.





Today I will experience international air travel with the new security measures in place. It'll be a fun trip, instead of just doing my level best to avoid all of the freakin' germs on the plane, I now have to deal with dehydration.

Anyway, nothing goes better with dehydration than deep-vein thrombosis and I'll get one of those since there's no upgrades available on this flight.

So, to sum up...

I'm flying in the middle of the day, shouldn't be a problem.
At least there's no liquids allowed on the flight, so I won't have to pee like a racehorse when I get off the plane, which is good, because where I'm headed there is no potty between the plane, baggage claim and customs. (Not one, and I'm flying an airline that lands at the farthest terminal too, like an eight mile walk to baggage claim. Try and get through customs hopping around like the condom full of crank you've got stuck up your ass has sprung a leak. See if you don't get the dreaded pink highlighter.)

My legs will be cramped up and\or asleep because I'm stuck with the rest of the cattle, so don't expect me to save your ass should the bad guys attack.

I have a window seat, so I will be able to watch my bag get put on the plane to Madrid. No, I'm not going to Madrid.

Maddmom has a gun and is no afraid to use it.

PS: to my anonymous emailer,

It's not an obsession with dead hookers, it's a collection. I bet if you're married you have more than a few baskets lying around your house like we do here. And I bet some of them even have dried human fingers in them, right? Every married guy does, it's a wife thing. But let a guy get a hobby and it's obsession. Christ, you people piss me off.

So, maddad, you make it home yet?

8/11/2006

I did.

I checked out the security lines at O'Hare and because of that and the thunderstorms in the area causing 90 minute delays, I gave up and picked up a rental and drove back to my car in Louisville yesterday afternoon. Sounds simple, right? Well those thunderstorms also managed to put part of 80 under water so it took a good solid 2 hours to get from O'Hare to 65. So I was grumpy when I did finally get home.

I'd also like to say that the Chevy Impala is probably the most uncomfortable car made. It has a huge ass steering wheel with no telesoping, a cheap plastic dash with dials everywhere that is hard to reach because your seat is pushed so far back because there is no legroom. When you give up and pull the seat forward so you can reach the dash conrols, your right knee will rub against the center consol for the entire 300 mile drive. The seats are firm, but the seat bottoms are too short, supporting only your butt cheeks, and the seat backs must be installed on an angle because with the lower part of the seat pushing uncomfortably into your lower back, the upper part of the seatback is a good two feet away. Basically you are driving on a stool or small typists chair. The cupholder was pretty well hidden, and when I did find it it was as hard to reach as the dash, harder actually, because it was practically on the floor. I almost spilled a whole cup of decaf on myself before my meeting because of this, if you are trying to pick up a cup with a lid, you might accidentally pull the lid off while reaching for it.

The controls on the steering wheel are many and confusing. The cruise control buttons on the left side are laid out with the cancel button in between the resume and set buttons so that half the time you try and coast or resume you will will hit cancel. The radio controls have about thirty buttons, two thumb buttons right on the front of the wheel have an up and down arrow on them, you'd think that these were the volume buttons, but you'd be wrong. These are the pre-set buttons, the volume buttons are on the back side of the wheel and are operated by pulling with your fingers. Unfortunately, you can't see them. Use the dial in the dash, not the dial on the radio that has the musical note on it, the big dial, in the center of the dash that you can't reach.

The trip computer display buttons might as well be on the moon, hidden under the dash overhang behind the enormous steering wheel.

Oh yeah, shifter is on the column and you can drop into third and up into neutral without the slightest amount of pressure. Oh yeah, try and get this sucker into reverse, I predict a rash of old people in Impalas smashing into the front of the garage.

Other than that, the car eventually got to 60 from a stop and was big enough to carry me and my laptop and seven dead hookers to Louisville airport from O'Hare on one tank, but just barely. I made it on fumes and one of the hookers had to sit on my lap most of the way. I didn't really mind, when rigor mortis set in I used her arm to reach the radio station buttons.

So, between the security nightmare, dead hookers, thunderstorms, uncomfortable car and a small but deadly shootout in the Cracker Barrel at the Indiana Welcome Center I had a heck of a day, but I did make it home in one peice.

how long ago did they know of this and why are we just hearing about it right now?"

Followed this link from Jeff Goldstein: "how long ago did they know of this and why are we just hearing about it right now?'"

Maybe because the New York Times was lying down on the job?

Great day to fly United

8/10/2006

Let you know how it works out.

I was wondering where he got to.

8/09/2006

My invisible fence hasn't been working right lately. First the dog, now this. How will I break it to the boys?

Did you ever notice....

Infomercials for guys like Don Lapree and Carlton Sheets all take place next to a pool behind a gigantic house in Hawaii? And it's always the same house? And you are led to believe it's Carlton Sheets' or Don Lapree's house? And they got it by placing tiny ads in newspapers/no money down Real Estate?

This is kinda the same thing, only same person, different house.

UPDATE:This woman gets around. Damn landlords, getting all the publicity.

I reject your reality and substitute my own. Or whatever, maybe it was heat stroke.

It's ALIIIIIIIIVE!

I swear I'll never link here again.

CT democrats have just created a monster. Imagine, if you will, that Sean Hannity was the "driving force" behind the Republican party. And instead of being a hack radio guy in search of ratings he was a potty mouthed jerk with an ego just this side of well... mine. But at least I have an ego for a reason, if you know what I mean...

The DLC has just handed this guy the debate until '08. Might as well let Anne Coulter set the Republican agenda. Why don't we just put them in a room and let them fight it out? Then put the adults back in charge when they kill each other.

I just thank God I'm pro-life so I don't have to deal with this shit.

Welcome to 1966.

Good luck in Boston, don't forget your gas masks!

Giant Robot Imprisons Parked Cars

8/08/2006

Wonkavator goes CRAAAAZY!. Not really, but it does make you wonder about the terms of the EULA's that flash on the screen when you install software. maddmom has been pushing me to get Quicken and while I did use Quicken 99 for a year or two, we haven't used it since. It would be a nice way to track relative spending etc, but I think we'd have to buy the new version, and I don't want to 10 go through all of the hassle of buying it and learning how to use it and 2) we will be putting some very sensitive info on a computer that is always connected to Al Gore's intarweb.

Now I do have a router with a built in firewall and I run KPF on all of the computers but one, and that's the one I would be loading Quicken on. For some reason, when I load Kerio on that beast it reacts badly with something else, probably Windows firewall. It's an XP box, so I have to turn off Kerio and let Windows firewall run. I do not like Windows firewall, I do not trust Windows firewall and I will not install Quicken on a computer that can only run Windows firewall. So I'll need to figure out something, I'm thinking of retiring an old laptop I have here and run that as a proxy server.

I'm also thinking I should get a wired router and use the wireless router I have as an AP behind the firewall. Dunno, I have a 10\100 hub so I might just do that.

I'd also like to find a program like AirSnare to run on the firewall like I do on my old workstation. Just to see who's connecting to my network. I have it set up in a pretty remedial way, I get an email if an "unfreindly" MAC sends a DHCP request to my router. I have Airhorn running, so if they do manage to connect (if they crack my WEP key) they get a network message from Administrator telling them I'm tracking them, but they're free to surf the web. Then Ethereal kicks in and tracks them. This works pretty well, but being about 200 feet from the road helps even more. When I had my WEP disabled the UPS guy set off my alert when he pulled up my driveway, but that's the only alert I've ever received.

Since I'm talking security and I'm stuck on Winders I'll probably have to set up an AD Domain so I can lock down access to my workstations. I'm not real happy about that, but I do share folders and such, so If someone guesses my workgroup name, I could be wide open. Maybe I'll run a GC\DC on the same box I do the firewall on in VMware.

All of this because of Quicken. Screw it. Pen and paper or nothing.

Hello Cleveland!!!!!! Rock and Rooooollllll!

Rolling Stones Will Play Churchill Downs.

That's a small room for the Stones. Anyone want to buy me tickets?

Woopsie!

8/07/2006



I remember this one.

Everyone else is linking it today, but you guys get it anyway because I'm too tired to rant.

Except for one thing...

Are the roads in Pennsylvania some kind of weird forced self-flaggelation the Quakers put together to make us all do penance for the slave trade? I'm wondering if they know anything about the law of Unintened Consequences, because after driving the entire length of Pennsylvania, from Philadelphia to Wheeling, West Virginia, I need new kidneys. The best place to get new kidneys is a Central American organ broker who, using Sally Struthers as a shill, misleads thousands of Pax TV watching suckers in the US to "invest" in his scheme to farm-raise the finest in O negative organs on what had previously been considered trash dumps in Central America's largest cities. So let's face it, the Quakers screwed up there. Got it? Fix the damn roads, Susan B.

Cooler than a Mac

8/03/2006





My obituary

8/02/2006

Quiz Galaxy: "




QuizGalaxy!
'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com
"

Oh Please...

The Economy sucks! It does! Really! You Gotta Believe Me!!!!!

"To be honest, I'm kind of looking for the home run, said Christopher Priga, who is 54 and has not had steady work since he lost a job with a six-figure income as an electrical engineer at Xerox in 2002. There's no point in hitting for base hits, he explained. I've been down the road where I did all the things I was supposed to do, and the end result of that is nil. "

Now read the article carefully, most of these men have had sources of employment, either off the books or contract work since they left their last "real job". So when you see that 7% unemployment figure for men 30-50 years old, take it with a grain of salt. The problem isn't that they don't work, they do, when they want to, they just have a perception problem. I did too for a while.

When I lost my job in 2001 I took anything that came by and I eventually took a job for 20% less than I had been making. Why? Because when you are UNEMPLOYED any salary at all is a RAISE. I didn't want to, I wanted to hold out for that pie in the sky, but I had two things going for me, my wife and a severance package that included an outplacement service.

Maddmom is a great money manager and a hell of a motivator and we were able to maintain ourselves, our sanity and our standard of living while I worked my way back to the salary that I had when I lost my job in 2001, it took FOUR YEARS. By that time I had another kid and was paying Catholic school tuition for the oldest two.

The outplacement service taught me two very important lessons, the first I already told you, when someone offers you work, and you don't have a job, you are getting a raise. The second was that you need a plan, get a job first, then work on your career. It's not easy, and everyone who has ever been let go, especially if it wasn't their fault goes through a period of mourning, even depression. My own case lasted almost three years, once I had my job I worked it, but I paid no attention to my career other than working hard so I didn't get laid off again. But that was it, no job searching, my resume got old and I didn't really pursue any increase in responsibility because I had done all of that before, and it didn't do me any good. So I sympathize with this guy's sentiments:

What got to him was not the work. It was the frequent furloughs, the uncertainty whether he would be recalled, the mandatory overtime and 50-hour weeks often imposed when he did return, the schedules that forced him to work every holiday except Christmas, and then, as rising seniority finally gave him some protection, a six-month strike in 1983 followed by a wage cut. His pay shrank to $13 an hour from $17, a loss he did not fully recover until those last three years.

“I was always thinking if there was some way I could get out of this, do something else,” Mr. Beggerow said. “What made me so upset was the insecurity of it all and the humiliation. I don’t want to take a job that would put me through that again.”


But this is 2006. EVERY job makes you suffer insecurity and humiliation. There is no security at all, so you need to be your own manager. The best advice I ever got was from a mentor I had at my previous job (once I got out of my funk, I got myself a mentor), he said that you may work for a company, but your job is your career. Career and company are two different things. Everyone nowadays has to consider themselves a contractor, negotiate the best rate that they can for the work they do, manage their own retirement, pick and choose benefits, and run their home as a business.

You can be loyal to a company, but be ready to jump ship if you have to, you can't expect to sit in a cube day after day for 30 years then retire with full benefits. Even the guy who writes your pink slip can't do that. You have to be ready to move to the next opportunity at any moment, never burn bridges, keep your skills up to date and NETWORK like hell.

Point being, you never really stop working. No matter what your skill set may be, in reality you are a salesman, working on straight commissionssion. You sell a product to anyone and everyone. Sometimes you don't get the best price or you break even, other times you hit a home run, and put money in the bank. But if you can't make the little sales, you'll never make the big ones.

Get to work.