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Happy Halloween


Halloween is my favorite holiday. It beats Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving, hell, it even gives Arbor Day a run for its money. No other holiday has the atmosphere that Halloween has, with all the fallen leaves and cold wind and teenaged girls dressed up as naughty cats.

Yep, Halloween is a great day for romance. I remember Halloween night in 1985 I met this cute blonde chick dressed up in some kind of domanitrix outfit, complete with riding boots, jodhpurs and a whip. Soooooo hot. Followed that chick around all night, finally got her to notice me, and now she wants my opinion on what color to paint the bathroom. And I thought the whip thing was an act.

Well, have a happy one, eat a lot, get sick, I've got to leave for Detroit at 5 am, so keep your damn kids off my porch after dark.



Compromised PC Leads To Big Fraud Losses For E*Trade

OK, here's a tip. Encrypt your hard drive. Get a router for your cable modem. Put a software firewall on your PC. Scan for Ad-Ware, Mal-Ware and Viruses daily, you can automate this. Secure your wireless with a strong wep key (doesn't help much, but chances are the guy next door doesn't do it.).

By a POS PC from Ebay, the newspaper or flea market, install a proxy server on it.


Or just keep your cookies somewhere else.

Better Late than Naever

Argentina charges Iran, Hezbollah in 1994 Jewish center bombing.

Cue the Lawyers

Isn't this reverse discrimination? Or something like that?

what if I blew out my ears in a tragic, yet exciting, iPod accident? Would that make me less of a deaf person? A second-class deaf person? What if I was deaf and blind? sign language wouldn't be much use to me then, could I be the President then?

Idiots. Dare I say they are some kind of -ists?

Sunday School a day early


I heard Andrew Sullivan on the radio the other night and he ticked me off. He usually does, I'm not prone to be lectured on what I believe, and I really don't like some jackass with a blog change the definitions of what it means to be a Catholic when I KNOW what it means to be a Catholic and even if I screw up, at least I'm not fooling myself into thinking that I am the number one moral arbiter of everything Catholic, decent and moral.

So today I was surfing a little and came upon the Sullivan interview I had heard at Hugh Hewitt's blog but since I've mostly sworn off politics, unless they're my politics which trump all others, I won't comment on Andrew Sullivan's politics which pretty much depend on the tides and the size of the monarch butterfly migration. Instead I will comment on Andrew Sullivan's idea of what it means to be a Catholic, since he's always telling people that he is a Catholic and we are bad Catholics.

Well, I thought after I heard the interview that Andrew was deeply mistaken about Vatican II and after I read the transcript of the interview at Hewitt's I was sure of it, href="http://andune.blogspot.com/">and Hewitt put up this link from a Catholic theologian to prove it.

You see, I don't care about how people define words when it comes to politics, politics in this country is all about changing the meaning of words and well, lying about not only the effect of policy, but the policy itself (see the last South Park for example, or watch the Daily show or listen to Michael Medved). But when you have a major Religion like Roman Catholicism that has a structured hierarchy and doctrine, well, it's really hard to call yourself a Catholic if you don't believe in the things that make you a Catholic. These things are written down in books, so if you are in doubt you can go check and see if you are actually a Catholic or not. It's not real tough to figure it out.

Catholicism isn't an ethnic group and it's not a political persuasion, it's not a geographic area and it's not a state of mind. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing, pisses me off than some idiot telling me that "I didn't leave the Catholic Church, the Catholic Church left me." Uh, no. The Church changes very slowly, almost imperceptibly, it hasn't changed much in my lifetime and it won't in yours. Sure, churches are uglier now and the music sucks, but the basics haven't changed at all.

They really haven't. And like everyone else I was told that the Second Vatican Council totally screwed up the Church. Well, guess what? Take a little bit of time to read it, I don't think it says what you think it says. And all the nuns cluck-clucking their tongues at the long-haired priests in earth-shoes and blaming it all on Vatican II were just as wrong as the long-haired priest who told everyone they could do whatever they wanted to do and still be Catholic.

Now I'm not saying that I'm a great Catholic, or even a good Catholic. What I am is a practicing Catholic, and if I keep practicing I hope that one day, maybe, I'll get it right.

Oh Yuck

A cautionary tale.

And then some...


Some days you just feel like you have nothing to say?

That's a tough thing for a guy who has a blog to write. I mean really now.

Bloggers are an interesting species of primate, loud, obnoxious, smelly and with all the hair worn off of our butts from hours and hours at the computer. When the excited blogger bends over and show our red, engorged asses to the world, which we do almost every day, we realize that it's highly unlikely that we're going to get laid. You ever hear anyone tell someone in a bar that they have a blog?

Didn't think so.

Maybe that would work on single women, I don't know. Do single women dig bloggers? I can't remember the last single woman I talked to, except for maybe that barfly in New Hampshire who kept yelling at me while I tried to play video strip poker. If "That's pornography!" and "It doesn't work!" and "Jesus hates porn!" mean what I think they mean, well, I could've been in like Flynn.

Married women I know something about. And from an informal poll of married women (OK, maddmom. But she assures me all marrried women with children feel the same way.) here's a list of the top ten sexiest professions a guy can have.

1) Anesthesiologist (every woman who has ever seen an anesthesiologist has said, "I love you." these guys win, hands down.)

2) Electrician

3) Drywall finisher\Plasterer

4) Movers

5) The guy who drives the Bobcat

6) Appliance Store salesguy who throws in the delivery for free.

7) any guy with a pickup truck and a good car jack

8) Tree trimmer

9) Finish Carpenter

10) tie Plumber/Tileguy

Notice, "blogger" ain't on the list. Neither is "International Arms Dealer" or "Computer Information Systems Manager" or "Elephant Semen Collector" or anything else on my resume. All of the people on this list have one thing in common, they fix things that the husband either caused to be broken or can't fix himself because he doesn't have the tools or time, or just plain doesn't want to be bothered doing because the A-Team marathon is on TV Land and he needs a good pop-culture reference for tomorrow's blog post on the Virginia Senate race.

So why in the hell would someone with nothing to say slap this crap out into the wild world of the Google cache for all and sundry to see if it didn't get him women and/or money?

I dunno. I really don't.

I got a pretty good album by a mainstream Country act called Dierks Bently. It's pretty good, still just this side of a Ford commercial. I figure it's only a matter of time before he's selling trucks, tampons, and laundry soap and singing about angels with cancer but he's holding his own for now.

I'm sure I regret writing that when his duet video with Martina McBride debuts on Hannity and Colmes. But what the hell, it's a fun listen.

Nashuer N'Hamsher


Spent the last couple of days in Nashua New Hampshire while the workers work at the McMahonsion. Lucky me, except for the attack of insomnia the first night and last night's mistake.

It wasn't a life changing mistake, but it has done a LOT for my diet. Because, you see, I will never drink that much again (at least until January).

I know lots of people say that, but I really mean it. I am hungover like a dog, sitting in the Manchester, NH airport. Dehydrated, sore, gassy and if the Starbucks chick in the kiosk next to my gate makes one more fluffy drink with that damn mixer thing, I'm going to have to burn the place down.

Other than that, everything is fine. I did something I had never done before. I went and had sushi after work (I've had sushi before, that's not it. And I still don't like it) and then went candle-pin bowling. Which was cool. You use a small ball and the pins look like candlesticks and not like, well, bowling pins. It's harder than regular bowling because the balls are so small and light that sometimes you can roll right between the pins, and other times you can bounce your ball off of a pin that's lying down and not knock over any others. Neato.

Of course there was a bar in the bowling alley, and after every roll the loser had to buy shots, and then, after two frames we kind of gave up because they had a computer trivia game on the bar that had videos of women taking off their clothes when you got a question right. We played that a long time. A long, long time.

So now, I'm in the airport, sweating Red Bull and Jagermeister and wondering if my corporate travel insurance will still pay double if I get shot by a TSA guard as I smash the crap out of the damn coffee grinder at the starbucks kiosk, and if that's enough to pay for the new heatpump for the boy's room.

The foam machine is getting shoved up her ass, I swear to God.

Are you ready for some Football?


The season's in high gear in Philly. Actually, I'm as shocked as anybody else at this type of behavior at a kids football game. I mean this is the type of behavior you expect at a basketball game. Or a block party. No, I kid. Really. In Philadelphia the only time you can expect someone to be shouting curses and waving a gun is at a parade.


You know the only reason I went to the Daily News was to read up on the Eagles come-from-behind victory on Sunday, Man! Three touchdowns, unbelievable! Wait, wait, I'm sorry, I was thinking of offensive touchdowns. You know, where the quarterback throws to his own team.

The quarterback is the six foot 5 guy, with the laser, rocket arm and the 6 and 0 team if you're from Philadelphia by the way.

Again, I am seriously considering giving up Philly teams, too much drama, smaller markets eat their lunch, Howard Eskin, (damn internet radio) etc...

Comments are open, anonymous and unmoderated, but if you do comment explain to me why the Phillies, the number three TV market, havent been in the World Series since '93, the Flyers, well, are the Flyers and the Sixers are a one ego team.

Then explain the Eagles. If you can.

I just can't work up enough green to root for a bunch of self-destructive teams that are 800 miles away anymore.

At least the Cowboys lost, but the Cowboys have a lot of rings now, don't they. And they lost to the Giants, who also beat the Eagles.

Please, God, let there be a Chicago/Indianapolis Superbowl this year, then I will be able to make a true break.

'Paris Syndrome' leaves Japanese tourists in shock

I know, the headline is misleading. This story has nothing to do with VD. But it's hilarious nonetheless.

Chicken Dance



That thing will never get old. Posted by Picasa

Update: I finally fixed my Google Analytics. I broke them back when I changed my template and I have been too lazy to fix them, and frankly I'm not really that interested in who's been reading this. But then I saw a hilarious commercial for a fast food chain called Sonic, they do this riff on a Strawberry Cheesecake milkshake and blogging. My guess is it's supposed to be some kind of viral marketing deal, but the idiots don't have it up on YouTube, so all my "fans" (read as: "My Mother") won't see it. So when the marketers at Sonic decide to do the Technorati search on themselves I would like credit for doing their work for them. I would also like a coupon for a free milkshake. Not a Strawberry Cheesecake milkshake necessarily, just any old milkshake. I like milkshakes.

Don't get me wrong, I like Strawberry Cheesecake too, just as much as a good milkshake. I'm just not sure I could handle both at once. I mean, I like chewing gum and I like a good omelet, I just wouldn't put the two together. Maybe. Maybe not, could be good, who knows. Maybe Sonic will make a chewing gum-omelet milkshake. "It's got lumps of real eggs!" I think I'm a marketing genius.

But back to my fixed analytics. One of the cool things about Google analytics, besides the fact that it's free, is that you can see your top search terms. I got linked this weekend by a couple, not one, more like six, people looking for "my girlfriend likes to kick me in the balls".

Welcome Perverts! We will have more ball-kicking later in the week, but for now you can watch this. Probably not really Dutch, but funny anyway.

Friday Soundtrack


I know I've posted this before, but here's the link again. Nothing really compares to Luxuria man. It's the soundtrack to maddad's day. I groove on that.

It plays in the bedroom area of the McMahonsion every night, very smooth. Well, it did, anyway, now that the Battle Bridge looks like this:

there's not much music of any kind playin', knowwhatimsayin? Notice the lack of a door.

We are on Work day 7 of the remodel and so far it's looking great. If we ever get an electritian in so we can close up the walls, we'll be in fantasic shape.

Here's a shoutout to any electritians out there. Come to Madison, IN. There aren't enough electritians around. You'll do well.

Anyway, beacuse the electritian hasn't been here, the kitchen still look like this:

and the new door to the garage looks like this:

I can't wait for that to go in. Looks are deceiving here, that's a double wall, so the door will actually give us six inches of floor space at the bottom of the stairs, so while it's a little tight now, the door will actually help matters in the end.

All of the new lighting will help so much, our new porch will rock and we will finally get rid of the funeral-home decor we've been living with for the past two years. I can't wait.

I really can't wait until the roof comes off, but that'll have to wait until the dove comes back with the olive branch in its beak, because it's been raining to beat the band around here.

Oh yeah, the new butler's pantry/office is partially framed out and the laundry chute is mostly done too but no picture because it came out badly.

Have a good weekend, only 12 days until Halloween!

A cure for what ails you


That's right baby, a vote for maddad is a vote for well, maddad. I'm not ashamed to admit that I vote for the guy who's going to promise me the best deal. If there's a guy out there who says, "maddad, I'm going to give you a flying car." And he actually has a plan to give out flying cars, I'm voting for him. But if he says, "maddad, vote for me, because you deserve a flying car." He's shit outta luck. Because I know I deserve a flying car, I don't need some asshole in a suit telling me that. It's unacceptable. So, for the education of our supreme overlords, or the idiots who are running for office, here is a list of acceptable campaign promises to give to me, maddad.

maddad, there's no such thing as a flying car, but I'll let you borrow my truck.

My brother-in-law is an electrician, he'll be over Monday before eight in the morning.

I hate the freakin' Dallas Cowboys, you with me maddad?

Want a job?

See this? It's a fifty dollar bill. I found it on the floor of your car when you were giving me a ride home the other day.

You know, I've got a timeshare at DisneyWorld that I never use...

I heard they tore up your driveway when they were fixing the potholes on your street, I'll make sure that gets fixed right away.

Oh yes they did.

Well it's been a couple of years, but it's been something we've been meaning to fix.

Speeding ticket? You just let me take care of that.

You know maddad, I'm gonna spend every dime of your taxes on hookers and blow, if you vote for me, I'll invite you down.

Those are full-grown, female hookers by the way, I'm not beating off over a computer screen, you gotta give me props for that, right?

I do not own, nor do I know anyone who owns a video camera.

You own the land, right? Build the garage as big as you want.

Wow, your kids go to Catholic school and they don't ride the bus? Here's a tax refund.

I don't fuck teenaged boys.

Sure I take bribes, but most of them are from the company you work for\your favorite bar\restaraunt\liquor store and the contractor working on your house, so we're not going to have any trouble now, are we?

I think your neighbor has too many dogs too.

Hey, looks like your car registration is about to expire and I just happen to have a sicker right here.

You all get the drift, if you want my vote, you gotta pay the piper. Otherwise I promise to run for office with the promise that I will do absolutely squat until I'm voted out. I won't promise anything I can't deliver, or even could deliver, in short, I would be the best canidate ever. So canidates, you know what you gotta do.

Earworm Dreams


Last night I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking that the theme to The Great Grape ape and Hong Kong Phooey were the same tune with different lyrics.

Please kill me.

Mondaze Updated


So, y'all want to hear how the renovation of the McMahonsion is going? It's going very well, so well, in fact, that I do not want to post on it lest I screw it up. So you guys get a "computer Post(tm)" that neither of you two will understand. But that's OK, 'cause i'll follow it up with something mildly humorous maddmom did on Saturday.

Did you know Rosie Perez is the voice of Click the camera on Go Diego Go? I was impressed, the camera doesn't sound hootchie at all.

So, I'm building a test environment in VMware. Sendmail with Horde on Fedora Core 4, but the DNS server is Windows 2003. Oh yeah, the FC4 server is in it's own domain. Has to be this way, I'm replicating an existing environment. Anyway, I can't get the FC4 domain to resolve on the Windows side. Works on the Linux side. I guess I shouldn't care, but I'm sure when I test mail it'll fail.

The thing that pisses me off is that I had it working Friday afternoon, but I was using dovecot not Horde and to top it off, I had too much disk space configured and I just wans't happy with the server. So I got rid of it, that's what VMware is supposed to be good for. Dumb dumb dummy.

Although, if anyone's still reading, I just have to say Webmin is a blessing for us Windows guys.

And in the time it took to type that, I fixed the DNS, or rather it fixed itself, I did nothing it just works now, Hooray blogging!

Eagles game wasn't on out here, but they lost to LSU, I mean the Saints. We're supposed to be all choked up that the Saints are doing well this year, because last year was the big hurricane, but Reggie Bush wasn't there last year, I don't live in New Orleans, and I hope the team bus ends up in Lake HorribleFrenchName.

From the Things You Don't Hear Everyday dept.

A conversation before dinner with Maddmom and the three eldest.

Maddmom: Nobody kicks anyone in the balls.

The Beast: Even a little bit?

Maddmom: No one kicks anyone in the balls even a little bit.

The Beast: {Number Two} kicked me in the balls.

Maddmom: How many times do I have to say it? No kicking in the balls!

Number Two: I didn't kick anyone in the balls!

The Prince: You're always kicking people in the balls!

Number Two: I didn't kick him in the balls!

The Prince: Well, you didn't kick him in the balls, but you kick a lot of people in the balls.

The Beast: He did too kick me in the balls!

The Prince: No one kicked you in the balls! (aha! says maddad. Guilty, guilty!)

Maddmom: The next time anyone gets kicked in the balls, I'm kicking you all in the balls!

Maddad, Hey, you uh, mean it? [wink, wink.]



OK, gave up on HORDE for the time being. I know none of you care, but I was having real issues with dovecot running on the Linux Sendmail box. I eventually figured out it was SELinux causing the authentication failure on /var/run/dovecot-linux. A couple of touch /.autorelables later I gave up and edited the selinux.conf and I got the dang thing to work. Yesterdays config didn't have SELinux installed. That problem was with IMAP, but that was an issue with the dovecot config and I took care of that in Webmin.

So I have a fully functional IMAP and POP3 server on FC4 in VMware using Win 2003 for DNS. Once I get HORDE installed, I'll be in business and ready to test me some software baby!


Mrs maddad, tear down this wall!


Not again

Haven't been able to get to the dashboard for two days. Thank God I'm not paying for this. Posting by mail, hope this goes through.

Every homeowner's dream


My own dumpster. Oh I can tell you're jealous by the way you click your mouse. You want my dumpster, you need my dumpster, but you can't have my dumpster.

Mwhahahahahahahahahah! Posted by Picasa

Oh Please, Oh Please....


Come to me my Scandinavian beauty...

Just sweet.

Air travel

Two things about this story...

One, the Air Marshall's name is Conan Bruce. Why not go with something more macho? Like Rock Force? or Toughguy McBadass?

Two, I can garantee you that the British male flight attendant making the complaint has had worse things done to his ass than having some drunk lady grab it. I think Tweeter McFlyboy should take some butch lessons from Conan Bruce.

And while I'm thinking about airplane rides, what is it with people talking on airplanes? I'm not talking about casual conversation like, "Hi, my name's maddad, your thigh is in my lap, could you maybe reign your fat ass in a little?" I'm talking about the type of conversation you have with either close family members or people you want to screw.

I don't want to hear about your uncle's growth, your urologist's estimation of the size of your urethra or your wife's female "problems". I don't want to hear about the time you met your girlfriend in that basement in Youngstown and who knew how freaky they were in Youngstown? I don't want to hear it. I really don't want to hear about your divorce or anything connected with your divorce.

Wow, did you know it's impossible to type the word divorce without spelling it in your head? Try it...D-I-V-O-R-C-E..see?

In other words, shut up. All y'all.

I am so ahead of the curve.


I rawk!

UPDATE: Yes, it is the safest place to be if you get plowed in the rear.

The End of an era


Tower Records to be liquidated.

The Tower Records on South Street in Philadelphia opened the same year as Repo Records opened its store down the street from the Wayne, PA train station. Repo was where you could get cool music and the guy behind the counter was allright, not too stuck up. Off the top of my head I can remember buying the Cult, Love; PIL, Flowers of Romance;(by extention, Yaz, Upstairs at Eric's but we try not to talk about that one, right buddy?) The Hoodoo Grurus; The Cure, Kiss me Kiss Me Kiss Me; several albums and EPs by the Smithereens(greatest band that never was). I bought The ueen is Dead and Meat is Murder by the Smiths and Raw Power and a best of compilation by Iggy and the Stooges. God, I bought Tonic for the Troops by the Boomtown Rats there too. If you're paying attention, you'll notice that all these albums were under $7. That's just how I roll.

I think I bought someone a birthday present at Tower Records once. I remember driving there and parking by the Hospital pretty successfully, which for me is a good memory, since it was probably the last time I parallel parked with any kind of confidence and without any kind of damage.

But you didn't really shop at Tower, you know? They treated you like a thief, were way too expensive, and once the cool factor wore off, just too big and sterile. Plus, it was a long walk from 8th and Market and from Broad to what? 6th? I don't remember exactly where it was, but that nasty stretch of South, below Broad and before all the shops wasn't the place for preppy boys to be in the late 80's. An OK place to pee, but be advised you were gonna get your ass kicked. Even the El wasn't a good bet to get there. Bad location, had it been at the Gallery, it may have done better. More would have been stolen, but it would have had better traffic.

But really, in 87, would you want to shop at a place blasting Poison? Or some UK bootleg of a Big Country concert in 1984?

Don't answer that.

This could be the worst movie review ever written.


Reviewing Mike Judge's Idiocracy. By Reihan Salam

As I get older I am consistently amazed by the fact that people have so internalized their High School experience that they see everything through that four-year prism. I first ran into this weird club in college, people obsessed with the line between "frat boys" and "jocks" and "cheerleaders' and the rest of that crap. In fact, during my freshman year of college a good female friend of mine refused to talk to me for months because I started dating a girl from her hometown, not because the girl was a psycho of the first magnitude, but because the girl in question was a cheerleader and ran with the "popular clique" in High School.

Now, I'll be the first to say I was not any kind of jock in High School or College, and the only reason I scored cheerleaders during freshman year was that I was one of maybe three guys at that particular school who was over 5'7" and without any kind of significant limp. My wife can attest that by the time I transferred out of there Sophomore year I was not the most beautiful guy around. And I'll be up front here, I wasn't a "frat boy". I pledged a fraternity, but said cheerleader took up too much of my time and I dropped out. Oh well.

But the idiot who wrote this review seems to think that the rest of the world sees "frat boys" as he does. As losers. And maybe, in the freelance writer world, frat boys are losers. And the moon is made out of green cheese.

See, in the real world Frat Boys get jobs like "accountant" and "Sales Manager" and "Trader", or they start their own business as an "Agent" or "Franchisee", basically they do very well in business because they have "friends".

Some "Frat Boys" become Lawyers and Doctors, but relatively few of them become free-lance hacks for an on-line magazine who use the space allotted to bash people they didn't associate with in college because they thought having fun, dating girls and doing community service were somehow beneath their dignity.

The on-line world is full of jerk-offs like the article of this review, people who remember their SAT score and discussed poetry with adjunct professors while the rest of us were out drinking beer and getting laid. And you know what, that's great for him, but people like him who obsess over what other people thought of them while they were young would really be surprised to find out how little they did.

Dare I inquire whether this asshole did needlepoint?

As if I weren't in a bad enough mood...


I like my job, I do. But in a fit of pique over my Blackberry malfunction I promised an acquaintance my updated resume. You have to do this, I know. It's a career rule, we're all sharks now, if we stop swimming we die.

So now I have to re-do my resume for the first time in nearly two years.

I've been slacking. I used to update my resume every year (coincidentally right around this time of year if I go by the details on my resume folders) whether I needed to or not. I had a new job in 2005, so I didn't do it. Now I'm paying for it.

To top it all off, I switched careers, so now I have to reconfigure the whole damn thing for a different audience.

To make matters worse, I'm procrastinating by posting this.

I hate this.

Idiotic Headline of the Day

U.N. warns Afghan opium crop to spur heroin deaths.

Uh, it's not the crop, it's the junkies. Junkies kill themselves.


Lets use threats of physical violence and mob rule to shout down opinions we don't agree with. Socialist "student" groups at Columbia University shout down and rush an invited speaker.

Interestingly, it's extremely easy to see who is funding these groups, and they aren't afraid to hide it:

"Having wreaked havoc onstage, the students unrolled a banner that read, in both Arabic and English, 'No one is ever illegal."

Why Arabic? Lots of Arabs coming across the Southern border? I don't think so.

When I was in college there was a flap over having a pro-choice canidate for state office give the keynote address to a Catholic women's college. Many of the Catholic women who attended the college thought, rightly, that the canidates stated pro-choice position was at odds with the stated goals of the College. There was a fuss, articles in the paper, a few notices on bulliten boards, you know what I'm talking about. It's what conservative groups do when there's something going on that they feel that the principles that they believe the school that they pay tuition to, that they chose to attend, stands for. I've never heard of a conservative student group doing something like this. Not even hitting speakers with pies? Nope, not even hitting people in the face with pies, that's not how we do business.

I'm actually worried about what my kids will learn in college.






I move to Indiana John Cougar goes to Camden.

You know there are a lot of farms in S. Jersey and there are even farms close to Chester, PA. There are, however very few grocery stores in Chester and as of 1999 there were none in Camden, NJ. I should know, I did a survey of every business in Camden for a non-profit I worked for.

So if I lived in Camden or Chester, I'd probably think milk came from school lunch rather than the store.

Anyway, that woman's full of crap anyway. Statements like, "the kids think that milk comes from the store" doesn't say anything about farms or the kids but it says a lot about the morons supposedly teaching school up there.

There's a bridge, a big one, that connects Chester with Swedesboro, NJ. There's an orchard and a vegetable farm right past 295. Less than two miles away. Not to mention the Food distribution center that's a five minute drive up 95 in South Philly.

And here's a great quote from Jonny Cougar:

"We thought we'd have the concert and the government would change things,"

Of course! Why didn't I think of that!

I have a problem with my mortgage and all I thought I had to do was to tie a hollowed-out cucumber to my schwantz and do an interpretive dance at the bus station, but you know what?

The government did nothing! Nothing! Well, the local government did, but it wasn't what I expected and I did get a bill, but at least I made a lot of new friends.

I dunno though, if you're going to pick a guy to have on your side in a fight against the government, why would you pick the guy who sang "When I fight Authority, Authority always wins"? I mean, c'mon. That's kind of lame. It's like asking Marlon Brando what he's rebelling against and instead of saying, "Whaddya got?" he said, "Oh I dunno, doesn't matter, not gonna win anyway, guess I'll just go home and play Monopoly so I get subconsiously prepared to get sucked into the great capitalist machine that is America."

And nine dollar organic hamburgers? Nine dollars? What kind of pretentious asshole buys a nine dollar organic hamburger in Camden, NJ?

Oh, this kind:
I'm tired of those hot dogs and hamburgers," said Toni Matlosz, gesturing to the regular amphitheater fare.

That's right, I'm tired of regular hamburgers, so i'll pay three times as much to eat a hamburger that tastes EXACTLY THE SAME as the others, but I'll be better than you because it's organic!

Why not just eat the money. Probably taste better.

Y'know Toni, I got the whole left side of a cow named Buckeye Hogan for $200. He was raised local on grass, and you know what? He was cute as a button and delicious. But I don't remember my dick getting any bigger because I ate him instead of the flash frozen patties from Wal-Mart.

You tool.