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Happy Valentine's Day


For the romantics out there. See the rest >here (click here).

Funny's funny, but my favorite thing about Valentine's day has to be the candy. I love candy. I especially love candy that loves me back, so the little necco hearts were always fun. I can remember in elementary school being very particular about who I gave my hearts to, then agonizing over the meaning of the hearts I got in return. I saved some to this day, little reminders of young love.

Here's one from the first girl I kissed:

Ahhh, young love. This one is from the girl I had a mad crush on in fifth grade:

You know, I bet that girl misses me.

As I got older I gave up on Valentine's day, it seemed too commercial, too planned. Until one cold Valentine's night, when I was waiting for a Trailways bus to arrive in the warm confines of a bar in a bowling alley, I met what should have been the love of my life. Things got a little hot and heavy in the phone booth, and we eventually went our separate ways, destined to but dream of each other each time it snows. Man, what a night. She gave me a candy heart to remember her by, it's all I have left:

Maddmom is the woman for me though, and this Valentine's day, since it was snowing I figured I could re-create the magic of my youth. So I bought her a 40 of flat malt liquor, some cork platform heels, a vinyl miniskirt and a can of Brut. I spread a path of rose petals to the utility room and drank four travel size bottles of Vicks 44. I was ready baby, but since it was snowing and the kids were home from school, she sent the Beast down to the basement where I was lying in a pool of drool with my head on the air handler and my feet inexplicably looped around the water-softener. He gave me her gift, and I was touched.


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