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Workin' my way back to you babe....

7/31/2007

maddmom is right now about to spend all of my money on a spanking new two-tons of South Korean steel. I'm excited to see how it goes. I don't feel too bad about this because at least these guys were on our side the last time we there was some kind of blow-up over there. Hell, it makes me feel damn near patriotic. Look, how many of our WW2 allies make good cars? I'll wait...........go on...........that's right. None. Canada and Mexico don't count because they are mostly GM and or Chrysler and based on my experience, those cars suck.

Now for the last 20 or so years, it seemed that in order for a country to build a really good automobile they had to have been agressively firebombed for four years in the fourties. But no longer. Ten kajillion South Koreans all working together have managed to keep Communism at bay and make a decent minivan without the mechanized destruction of their pre-war totalitarian society. Which is nice.

So, other than selling my first-born for basic transportation, I've been trying to dig myself out from under a mountain of crap that has piled up in the three weeks (effectively) that I was gone. First and foremost, travel exhaustion. I barely made it home before midnight on Sunday after a blissful six hours in the Philadelphia airport. Then I had to get back to work Monday and deal with everything I was ignoring last week, and all the stuff that piled up for the two weeks before that. In addition, I had to activate my sweet new Blackberry to replace the one I killed the morning after the Police show.

I also tried to work out this morning, but I forgot about the massive hip trauma I recieved at the beach when I stepped off the third step and thought it was the bottom. It seems massive bruising and lower-back injury doesn't go well with squats and deadlifts, even really light ones. I am now crying like a little girl.

I have major amounts of paperwork to do, a training class to develop and a new job opportunity to investigate, not to mention everyday average work and kid stuff to deal with, so things are back to normal here at the McMahonsion.

Oh yeah, if you find yourself in Philadelphia, go here and spend lots of money. I have no way of knowing how many drinks these wonderful people bought me, so buy them a few back. Thanks to maddad's brother (not Endo the Bicycleman, the other one) for keeping me alive and un-punched (I think) for most of my vacation and for cleaning his bathroom floor so carefully. Hardly a red pube in sight.

I will have pictures up once I get the camera charged up. I have so much stuff charging in my basement that the streetlights have dimmed and I'm worried I'll blow the transformer, so you'll need to wait for those. But what's new, right?

I've got to go make the boys their dinner and they had better enjoy it, if maddmom gets her way we'll all be eating government cheese in our shiny new Kar.

I'm back...but...

7/30/2007



I'll be ready to go tomorrow. In the meantime, watch this:

Hey maddad, where ya been?

7/27/2007

Away. But I'll be back Monday, and I should have pictures. Skippy turned 3 years old. Brave Frog turned into a monster. madmom cut her hand off and baseball season is finally over at the McMahonsion. It's been a long three weeks.

However, life goes on. Here's a link:
Recycling Rubbish and no, this has nothing to do with Transformers or the Police.

I'm back!

7/23/2007

Had a great vacation, nursed my latent skin cancer,pumped up my tri-glycerides, my kids won't speak to me and my wife wants to know when I'm travelling for work again. I saw the Police and made it home alive with no visible tattoos and the transmission did not fall out of the maddad family truckster. But I did dribble my Blackberry and have been mostly incommunicado over the past few days...oh it works, for a few minutes every hour, but who wants to deal with that?

Something did happen on vacation, the Prince was mowing his grandfather's lawn and even with the bike helmet, work boots and eye protection, managed to burn his hand to a crisp trying to pry a hot mower out of a chain link fence (don't ask). Yesterday, here in Jesusland, he went off in shorts and sneakers, with an adjustable wrench in his back pocket (to tighten the back wheels of my cheap-ass, used push mower when they loosen, which they do after about ten minutes of mowing, but I'm not complaining..really) to mow his regular lawns for fireworks money. And as he has been for several months now, he came back in one piece.

Which made me think of maddad's law. No, not The wait for service at the local Dairy Queen is directly correlated to the ratio of tattoos per customer to the total age of the people behind the counter , maddad's second law. The more you try to eliminate danger for you or your kids, the sillier you will feel when you sneeze and ram the foam-rubber padded corner of your smooth-edged kitchen table through your well-protected eye. And its first corollary; the more you try and clean something, the dirtier it looks.

So I was intereste to read this article at the link, and you will be too.ASSE The Myths of Safety

Still on vacation

7/14/2007

But maddmom's not around to beat me for looking at the blackberry.

In any event, it's beautiful here in Cuba where I am having my ass
liposuctioned on the backs of the workers. 85 and sunny. Really
nice, I'm thinking of sticking around and maybe getting my eyes done
as soon as the Cuban pharmaceutical company actually, you know,
invents something.

Other than that amazing psycedellic breakfast cereal, I mean. Wow.
Been tripping for days man.

Knighthood in offing?

7/05/2007

HERO CABBIE: I KICKED BURNING TERRORIST SO HARD IN BALLS THAT I TORE A TENDON

2007 Madison Regatta - July 6-8, 2007

7/04/2007

2007 Madison Regatta - July 6-8, 2007 Don't forget, if you're in the Ohio Valley this weekend. Powerboats, hydroplanes and hi-jinx.

For every 100 girls...

7/03/2007

Statistics

I'm on vacation, starting now. I will probably not be posting for the next couple of weeks unless something spectacular happens. Happy 4th of July to the US. Happy Global Warming Feast Day to the rest of the world.

Human greed takes lion's share of solar energy - Environment - smh.com.au

Why I absolutely refuse to take environmentalists seriously. Seriously tell me to pick up the trash and not to dump toxins in the drinking water and I'm OK with that. That and the massive rock concert to stop the climate "crisis". Nothing makes more sense to save the earth than a couple of massive all-day rock concerts. I wonder if Ed Begley Jr. will be out behind the stage, pedalling away to power up the giant TV screens and the laser light shows.

Anyway, I hope they have it at night so all those damn hippies don't soak up all the sunlight I need for my vacation. I only get so much vacation a year and the way I see it, no skinny Eurotrash hipster doofus should be tanning his soul patch and tribal tattoo while I still have three or four hectares of squamous cells that need mutating.

I also heard yesterday on the Travel Channel that the Eastern seaboard of the US was rising and this could diminish the amount of kinetic energy available for making hydroelectric power from the Niagara river. I guess there's less to worry about from the sea level rising. Or maybe that's just why we haven't noticed anything...yet. I'm sure we'll all die someday.

And wasn't it nice of Endo the Bicycleman to href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6261076.stm">manage to piss off every doctor in Great Britain? Way to go man.

And yes, I do know that I didn't post yesterday. I was getting my ears waxed.

The canonical list of things that had to be replaced in the week leading up to vacation (pt 1)

Basement Carpet > $500 but since I don't have that kind of money lying around (see below), One $19 bottle of Urine Gone and a massive bottle of Extra Strength Febreeze.
Ice Maker line to Fridge - FREE! Had one in the garage.
Water Softener - $764
Downstairs AC - $204 for a sealant and recharge.
Sink in the powder room - $14 for drywall mud and caulk
Mulch - $10 for the front of the house. The cantaloupe are doing well, but where they ain't is all weeds, so I pulled them up and dropped some mulch.
Air Cleaner for maddmom's car - $7.95 On sale too. Remind me. If I ever meet the jerks responsible for the Advanced Auto Parts commercial, where they show well-dressed, sparkly-clean soccer-mom's replacing the air cleaner in the minivan with one hand, to punch them in the face. Open the hood of your average minivan is all I'm saying, you need tiny hands and joints that bend backwards as well as the grip of a mountain gorilla to be able to change out the air filter, plus, you need to be actually standing where the engine is. Stupidest thing I've ever seen.
Tires for maddmom's car - $360
Detail work on maddmom's car - $170 (cheaper than a new one)

Total - $ a shitload.

To make matters worse, we've got houseguests. Now the houseguests aren't the problem, it's great to have them. It's the car. They've got a brand-new car and now, after dropping $500 on the old car, she's back in car-buying mode. And she wants a truck. I want a small Asian woman to shave my balls and walk on my back, but am I getting one? Probably not. Is maddmom getting a new car? Maybe, if she wants one.

It's just not fair.