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Happy Halloween


Hell. I can't find the picture I was going to post.

Make something up.

Can't wait until this is over...


I was watching Sports Center in my newly re-configured command center, just to bask in the glow of the Phillies win, when a campaign commercial came on for, who else? The Messiah.

It was the most dishonest ad I've seen all year. And there have been a few, trust me. This one took the cake.

It was about McCain "selectively editing" Biden's speech. The one where he says "Obama will be tested" etc etc...

Then it says, "this is what Joe Biden really said" and it plays a snippet of audio, 2 seconds max, edited from the Biden speech.

The McCain ad on TV and radio here plays the entire Joe quote, including the 2 second cut the Obama campaign edited out to fit their needs.

Last election, the most dishonest ad I saw was from a Republican, and he deserved to lose, because he was bullshitting us. I didn't vote for him then, and I held my nose when I voted (absentee, I'll be out of town next week) for him this time ( the other guy turned out to be an ass).

This guy will be a disaster. He's going to win, and that's a shame.

I'm hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.



Phillies Win The World Series.

Our long national nightmare is over.

The entire city of Philadelphia will smell like urine for the next week.

Correction..The entire city of Philadelphia will smell more like urine for the next week.

Just don't have much to say

It's cold out. I have a Boomtown Rats song stuck in my head. The Prince is at a Sara Palin rally in Jeffersonville tonight, check for him on CSPAN 1 tomorrow at 430. He said he's right behind her on the stands.

Me, I'm workin. Blah.

Monday Funday


Oh yeah. I poured an entire class of water on to the keyboard of my work laptop. I was straightening my office. Something I had planned to do every weekend since last October when I was sidelined by my surgery. Then I lost my job and got a new one. Then I just got miserable and became a virtual workaholic. Then I spent three straight months on the road. See where I'm going?

So this weekend I finished the projects I started last year. I finished the kitchen cabinets and backsplash. I put shelves up in the laundry room and the aforementioned office reorganization.

That left me with a soaking wet laptop. Evidently there's a water demon living in my basement.

I need to finish the landscaping in the front yard, will the house fall on me?

maddad and maddmom, back at school


Rosemont College, maddmom's Alma Mater. We couldn't get anywhere near Villanova, too much traffic. I spent more time at Rosemont anyway.

Here's maddmom and her college roommate at my High School reunion. Her roommate married my roommate. Go Figure.

And here's me and The Prince, trying to look cool for all of the cute college chicks.

Another shot of the boys, with Skippy and Dangeresque the two dancing fools.

Clockwise; Dangeresque, The Prince, The Beast, Skippy.

When Some people take pictures, they say "cheese"


Maddmom says "PENIS!"

It works.
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I was told there would be no math.





I spent some time back in Philadelphia this weekend. We had a death in the family and it was also my 20th High School Reunion. So there was no little stress on maddmom and me.

What I can say is that my reunion, at least, went really well. I hadn't seen some of these guys in 20 years, and never thought I would again, and it was interesting to catch up. My core group of friends, the guys that I hung out with through High School and College, were all there. It was nice to see them all. I had no idea how long it had been, really. They looked good. Adult. Grown up. I wish to hell I did.

maddmom looked great, that was a plus. And now I can go back to being a fat, lazy slob. Between the stress at work, and working out like a fiend I managed to get down to below 180. Not too bad, but I wish I was photogenic. One of my friends that I haven't seen in years was bald, pudgy wearing face pubes, but looked great. Even better in pictures, life just ain't fair.

The funeral was extremely sad, and even more depressing because I don't think the survivors have any idea of what is going to be expected of them. There are eight children, most grown and "on their own" (translated to "living with boyfriend/girlfriends") and out of eight, four spoke to me. I drove eleven hours with my kids to be at their mother's funeral. A lot of people spent a lot of time helping to put the funeral together, a lot of people are working behind the scenes to help these kids go on with their lives and they don't appreciate it.

Here's a tip. If your mother dies, it's inappropriate to leave the funeral reception with your new boyfriend before you say something to the old folks. You don't have to mean it, you don't even have to make a big show, "Thanks for coming" works. Your boyfriend isn't supposed to sit out in the car either. And if your boyfriend does come inside, introduce him. No making out at the tables, that's just nasty. You might also not want your boyfriend to sit on the couch and play video games while family comes over to pay respects. It's just not polite. And don't let your husband bring a bottle of booze to the house and not offer any one else a drink. That's a dick move.

I was pretty much shocked at the behavior, the "boyfriends" especially. Basically, what it said to me was, here's my chance to get drunk and get laid.

So anyway, I drove eleven hours up and eleven back, and all day yesterday I seethed at the idiots who drive in the left lane. The left lane is for OVERTAKING you assholes. Not for cruising along at 65. I don't care if you think I should be doing the speed limit, get the hell out of the way. You wasted my gas, my time and my patience with my kids. If I see your Buick, Taurus, Prius or ratty old Explorer again, I'll ram you off the freaking road.

Then I get back to work only to find that no one has paid any attention to my out of office notice, or my calendar and I had meetings and travel scheduled for the day after I got back. Cancelled but not until 7:30 am that day, thanks. Then to have meetings with people who outright lie. Outright. I mean, no bullshit, I-Am-Saying-Something-Entirely-Untrue-Call-Me-On-It-And-Lose-The-Deal, lies.

An aside: I know men do this too, usually when they have seriously fucked something up and are covering their ass. But since I started in sales, I've noticed that it's women who will more often flat out lie to make you, your company or your employees look bad to gain an advantage in negotiations as a matter of business. Most often this happens after you have closed the deal. So, if you are waiting on one signature-and there's a woman on the purchasing team- take it from maddad, you are going to have to either get mean or rejigger something. I'm not saying all women do this, I'm saying a lot of professional women have decided that pulling stunts like this is good business, it's just "breaking balls". But it's not, it's what we men call "being an asshole", don't do it.

Men are trained from an early age to deal with assholes. Men will get even, somehow, someway. Many women don't understand this, but if you fuck up a deal based on bullshit it'll come back to you. It's a small world, and Karma's a bitch. That gives you two something in common, and that's good, because you'll be playing cards together for a loooong time.

Men don't normally pull this shit. They are genetically predisposed to want to ensure the survival of their genetic material. Being an asshole when you don't have to be one can reduce those odds. Back in the Middle Ages well armed knights came up with all sorts of crazy rituals and formalities that had to be performed when meeting another knight or when traveling the open road. Why? so they didn't get killed. You still see this today in a lot of cultures. Call it chivalry, hospitality, the old boys network, whatever...there are rules that govern behavior. And there are consequences for breaking those rules, if you know what I mean. You just might not get invited into the tent during the next sandstorm, and the sky looks pretty dark today. Wise up ladies.

Christ I'm old


I'm headed to the home of the National League Champions for my twentieth High School Reunion.

Actually it's my first, I didn't go to any of the others. In fact, since Senior Week 1988, I can count the members of my class that I've seen on one hand. I don't think they've missed me.

I'm leaving tomorrow morning with maddmom and all of the boys in the Kia minivan. I'm sure to impress all of my classmates with that chariot, right? Maddmom's excited, she gets to see what all of her ex-boyfriends old buddies look like. And of course, she'll get to see how I stack up.

...And if driving a Kia says anything, it says, "maddad stacks up."

Watchout!!!!!ka-cha!!!!uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh...

Who is John Galt?



Now I am a man


Skippy: Hey Dad, guess where we got this house?

maddad: Where?

Skippy: The Internet!

maddad: Really.

Skippy: We can get anything on the internet!

maddad: Really?

Skippy: Like toys and cars and magic and girls.

maddad: Really.

Skippy: Yeah! Girls come from the Internet.

maddad: Girls like your Mom?

Skippy: No. Girls like my brother likes!

maddad: Really?

Skippy: You need to stop saying that.

Top ten things overheard at boy scout camp


I spent the weekend camping with 5000 boys between the ages of 11 and 16. Lots of fire, knives, stupid stunts, knot tying, and really terrible jokes. Here, in order, are the most overheard phrases at Boy Scout Camp.

Your mom.

That's what she said.

Who farted?

He/she/it/they/that are/is gay/a homo/queer.

He deserved it!

It wasn't me!

Oh my god I gotta poop.

(Band Name) sucks.

(Classic Rock Band Name) is awesome.

Watch this!

Doorstop No More! Puppy Linux on Satellite 4010CDS!


How cool is this. I'm posting this from a Toshiba Satellite 4010CDS, circa 1998. Running Puppy linux and Seamonkey on a 4 gig drive with 56 meg of RAM. I have 42 meg of Ram free. It's the Puppy 4.1 retro k2.6.21.7-seamonkey.iso if you want to go and get it. It found my Broadcom pcmcia wireless card (Actually a Belkin 54g card from Wal-mart) automagically. No more NDISWRAPPER! WOOT!

I knew it was just a matter of time.

Anyway, I scavenged my old flooded out Tecra laptop keyboard to get this thing back into shape, so I can type on the laptop keyboard, and use the little pencil erasure mouse which is something that I haven't been able to do in years.

I'm on battery power too, and I have power management! ACPI! Fan control! From a liveCD! (I haven't put it on the harddrive yet.) Again...WOOT! This thing has a four hour battery, the BEST laptop battery I've ever seen, and it still does. It's almost 10am here at the Mcmahonsion and I've had this thing on since before 8 and I've got about 80% charge left.

I know you can get Vista laptops from Wal-Mart for $300, but I doubt you'd get this battery life.

It doesn't have an active matrix screen, and it's about 10 times as thick as a Macbook Air, but it does everything I need it to do. It actually has more functionality now than it did when it ran Windows 98. I can actually create presentations with Open Office Impress, when this thing wouldn't even run Office 97's Powerpoint. Just the fact that I'm typing this in a browser, without spooling to disk, or constantly getting the Windows 2000 low virtual memory errors is something. (Yes, I did upgrade to an operating system that it couldn't hande, first to NT workstation, then to 2000 pro, but it was for a good cause. There was no usb support on NT, I needed the external CD burner and usb wireless network card. NT was on it for security. Really.)

I had put Linux on this before, dual booting with Red Hat in 2001, tried Fedora and Slackware in 2005, but I was stuck with Windows for the hardware support. But every Tuesday I'd get another Windows 2000 patch and eventually the damn harddisk filled up. Every patch installed made the thing run slower and slower. I tried stopping every service that I didn't need, using Opera to surf, everything but turning off anti-virus, but It got to a point that it was just unusable and I gave it to the kids to play with. Seriously, it took 45 minutes to boot.

I was going to try and turn it into a poor-man's SAN for disk to disk backup but to hell with that, I'm going to use it the way it was meant to be used.


Root for the Phillies...or Die


There is a strong correlation between the Phillies winning the National League Pennant and the uptick at the end of a US economic recession.

Pennant, Business Cycle Peak, Business Cycle Trough

  • 1915 January 1913 December 1914
  • 1950 November 1948 October 1949
  • 1980 January 1980 July 1980
  • 1983 July 1981 November 1982
  • 1993 July 1990 March 1991 (That's only manufacturing, real personal income reached a trough in April, and non farm payroll didn't hit bottom until January of 1992.)

On the other hand, there's the Dodgers, who are a worse omen than Halley's comet. If it's not the economy, you can bet your ass it's going to be a bumpy year,

  • 1890 July 1890 May 1894
  • 1899 June 1899 December 1900
  • 1900 September 1902 August 1904 (a stretch? I don't think so.)
  • 1916 August 1918 March 1919 (war profitteering probably held off a manufaturing reccession until '18. But let's face it, the Dodger's win probably forced our nation into the War to End All Wars.)
  • 1920 January 1920 July 1921
  • 1941 Please. This doesn't count. From 38 to 45 there was no business cycle.
  • 1947 November 1948 October 1949
  • 1949 See 1991 and above, was October the trough? Or just a low point?
  • 1952-1956 July 1953 April 1958
  • 1959 April 1960 February 1961
  • 1963 The assasination of JFK causes thousands of newscasters and television writers find their vocation. This eventually results in "Cop Rock", "China Beach", "Manimal" and "Sisters".
  • 1965 LBJ proclaims "Great Society" and sends the first combat troops to Viet Nam, Bob Dylan goes electric and Days of Our Lives premiers.
  • 1966 John Kerry left active Duty, John Lennon said he was bigger than Jesus, Mao publishes the Little Red book and Anton LeVay founded the Church of Satan.
  • 1974 November 1973 March 1975
  • 1977 In no particular order, Jimmy Carter, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Panama Canal Treaty.
  • 1978 Dianne Feinstein, Susan B Anthony Dollars, Jim Jones and John Wayne Gacy
  • 1981 July 1981 November 1982
  • 1988 Celine Dion wins the Eurovision song contest. Jesse Jackson wins the Michigan primary. The Carrollton bus collision.

Do your patriotic duty and pray for the Phightin's to win.



Emails You Get When Your Company Is About to Go Under

anal -



That's right. It turns out that if you post, people come to your site. But I'm not posting, so my two a day is down to one a day (thanks Mom!). But I don't care. Indeed, I'm going to use this moment of unabashed narcissism to post a list. List posts, RAWRK! So, here's a list of...


- Peanut butter M&Ms. I've spent thousands of dollars on Reese's Peices over the years, but then I found out that M&M's made the same thing, only they were cheaper, and they were bigger. The same size as regular peanut M&M's but filled with a sublime deliciousness with the bonus that they could kill any number of genetically weak elementary school aged children. My God, these things are awesome.

- House. Great show. Total bullshit, but a great show. Bertie Wooster is really good at almost making you think he can talk Amurrican.

- Triumph TR6. Won't get you laid. Hell, probably won't run. But remember, I drive a volvo, so this qualifies as an exotic.

- The house red. Cheap, tastes like wine, 3 bucks a glass, 9 bucks for the three gallon jug. It'll do.


- Hold on, I'm still laughing at the Cubs. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

- Combos, Nacho Cheese variety. Could be nature's perfect food. Pretzels and all. I'm no fan of pretzels, I think pretzels are a cruel joke played on drunks by the Amish. But if life gives you pretzels, make Combos.

- No iron, fitted, button down shirts. Really. More like "lightly iron", but if you live out of a suitcase, these things rock.

- Stein Mart. The best place to buy your no iron, fitted dress shirts. What an awesome store. In a totally non-gay way. Cheap.

- Time Bandits. What a great movie. I've seen it a quadrillion times. Still love it.

- Pet Sounds. See above, replace movie and seen with album and heard.

- October. Baseball gets interesting, football starts being fun, TV's back on and I'm on a sugar high for the next seven straight weeks. I may have to rake leaves, but after eating an entire bag of fun size peanut butter cups, who cares?

Oh there's more, but you'll have to wait. Next list will be things that maddad wants. Might be a totally different list.

Holee Sheet!

Because of Obama I'm inspired to lose my lunch.

Do you think they know who else describes himself as "Alpha Omega"? Probably not.

Love the gold shoes, they rock.

Hey, the senate passed the bailout


I asked for a sweater....I hope I'm getting a sweater...and maybe a remote control car...ooooooooo.

Seriously though. I just want a check. For the Maddad Children and Flowers and maybe Cute Puppies, Unless You're a Cat Person, We Can Do Cats, but the Kids are Allergic so how about We just call it HOPE and LOVE and BIG HUGS for People who can do ANYTHING FUND.

You know...for the economy.

Gone soft

The power failures we experienced the other week beat the snot out of our computer. The hard drive failed the other day and I spent most of the weekend and part of the week trying to get as much data back as possible. My fault, the last good backup was from Christmas Eve. Which makes sense, because I replaced my external drive on Dec 23rd.

So my plan is to use an old PC I have lying around as a "poor man's SAN" and back up to network storage every night. I just have to figure out where to put it. I'm thinking I'll build a shelf for it in a closet. I'm also looking into online backup, but the amount of data I have is really large. I'll end up going over my monthly transfer limit on my "unlimited" bandwidth.

I guess, I'll have to do something anyway, burn DVD's and ship them to my father-in-law, or something. But I need off-site.

If I ever get the time in my home office I'll start work on it, but I'm on the road again. So maybe I'm out of luck.

On the other hand...Go Phils! How 'bout that Hamels?