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Blogged down

12/01/2008

It's been a couple of days since Thanksgiving and I still have nothing to blog about.

Sounds like a setup, right? Like I ever had anything to blog about? But the truth is the truth, and that's that I'm just not that into me, you know? Maybe I'll call me some day and we'll go see a movie or something? Seriously, it's not me, it's me. And I know that sounds cliche and I'm not going to believe it and I might even be mad at me - but really, I'm just having a tough enough time keeping my head wrapped around me, it'd be a disservice to myself to try and keep this thing I've got going with me going. You know what I'm saying?

I know all relationships hit the skids around the holidays, and I've been around this block with myself before and I've always managed to work through it with me. But let's face it, it's just not fair to me to have my issues jack up another holiday when I could be having a carefree and happy time with myself without worrying about where I stand with me.

I think it's time that I learned to stand on my own two feet and not rely on me to do my living for me. And I don't mean that I'm some kind of loser, don't get me wrong...I just think that I may have been a drag on myself and I can probably do better... than me.

I knew this has been coming for a long time, didn't I? Yes, yes I did, there's no fooling me. No reason for me to be upset at all. I'm an adult and I can handle it. And hey, if it ends up being hard on me, well, there's no reason why I can't see myself every once in a while...I mean I still really like me. I've been through an awful lot with myself, and I did say I was going to that Christmas party...and I spent all that money on my gift...Not that I'm not worth it, I am, and I was going to give it to myself regardless. I know that this isn't about money...it's not. Really...it's not.

Look, I just need some time. In a week or so I'll forget I ever had this conversation. OK, a couple of days. All right, Wednesday. I'll see me Wednesday...but I'm not going to dinner at my mother's...

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