Had a little heart attack this morning. Still a bit freaked out and not trusting anyone or anything, or, as we say in the biz, it's Monday.
This just can't last, I can't see doing this every year or half-year for the rest of my life. I really need to figure out how much money I actually need to live on, then start some sort of business or buy into one that's already open. I can be poor, I don't mind poor, I mind not having some kind of control.
It doesn't matter what I do any more, how well I personally perform doesn't mean crap. I am right back where I was five years ago and I can't take it. I am sick and tired of smiling and taking it up the ass. I get up a level and they knock me down two.
I am this close to selling mushrooms, meth or maddmom. I have to run the numbers first.