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Introducing "Shovel Buddy"

4/07/2009

Since on-line Death Notice websites like this one are springing up all over, it seems to me that there is a bigger need out there than anyone realized.

Introducing :

SHOVELBUDDY make yourself respectable

Just add the shovelbuddy alias to your on-line death notification system and a registered, bonded, and disinterested third party will come to your house and remove all of your porn, sex toys, drugs and drug paraphernalia, home-made crotch shots, your stash of cheap booze, unfinished first novels, unregistered or illegal firearms and any hand written poetry and/or love letters.

Optional services include:

Underwear drawer sexing service. All white, slightly used, brand name undies of the correct sex.
Cosplay and/or Furry evidence mitigation. We "know" you were the High School mascot, but do your kids?
Blog/Internet Cache deletion. We'll clean and shred your browsing history after death.
Digital Shredding Services. Too much dirt to hide? Clean your hard drive to DOD specifications.
Mistress Management Insurance. How much will it take to keep her away from the funeral? Our experienced Risk managers and ex-politicians can help find you the right size policy.

...and much more...

Just email shovelbuddy"at"gmail"dot"com and one of our representatives will contact you.

Shovelbuddy is looking for YOU! Do you have what it takes to be discrete? Contact us for information!

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