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Um..excuse me, mr douche? (BUMPED from 2010)


That's a trilby, not a fedora.

Let's review...


douche Trilby

Any questions? Good.

Now take it the fuck off in elevators and airplanes, when speaking to or in the presence of a lady, in restaurants, hotel rooms, libraries and private homes. You can wear it in the car, at the ballgame, inside the airport, train station or hotel or building lobby. Same as with a cowboy hat. In fact, there's lots the modern urban douche can learn from the wannabe wrangler set in regards to etiquette.

I would like to thank Fr. Taggart for teaching me this in 9th grade. He also taught me how to eat soup, pass the salt, pull a chair out for a lady, hold the door, say "yes and no" instead of "yeah and uh-uh" and which fork to use. As western culture slides deeper and deeper into shit, it might be useful to teach your kids manners.

You know, manners and etiquette didn't come about as a way to keep the slobs out of the nice restaurants, schools and shops. The rituals associated with good manners came about so you didn't get yourself killed. Just like today, where you don't wear a blue bandanna in blood territory, in the old days you took off your helmet when entering another knights hall. You fed your visitors first, you called people "sir" or "madam", you were fucking polite. Otherwise someone might take offense, and you might just get stabbed.

Here at the McMahonsion, I am lenient with visitors who lapse in their manners in the Great Hall. But I do teach them, because I can only be lenient for so long in front of my subjects. Or all hell might break loose.

Now take your goddamn hat off in the airplane, and in the restaurant, the stores, bars and elevators.

It's 2013 now, and this is getting worse, not better.  Seriously.  Fix this, assholes.

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