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Honesty

1/11/2011

Here's the deal. I'm fat as hell. For me, fat is anything above 190. I'm 209. Down from 215, but still fat as hell. Last time I was 215 I freaked out and it still took me a full two years to get to the weight I want to be at, and should be at which is around 180-185. And that is still fatter than the web gods say I should be, but I know what 175 looks like on me, and it ain't pretty.

I got fat by slacking off and eating like shit. Simple.

I had an excuse the first time I got fat. I had just quit smoking, and I quit smoking by eating jellybeans and ice cream. I had promised myself that as soon as I was completely done with smoking that I'd start working out and eating better. And I did, but not until I went to the Dr and he told me that I was 215 pounds. I was 33 then. I'm 40 now. I've been packing this lard on for about a year. My last weigh in at the Dr was 188, in Dec of 2009. I went up to 200 last Spring but maddmom started Weight Watchers, so I did too and I dropped to 190 by July without really trying. Since then I've turned into goo.

Why? Because I didn't care. I stopped working out because it took too much time. I ate what I wanted because I pretended I was going to work out and I could afford it. Now I'm forty, fat, and in a job where I travel a lot. The deck is stacked.

So here's my goal. 185 by Summer. If I can continue on this path of losing 4-5 pounds a week, I should be able to do that no problem. I will start working out again. And I mean it. I started already (and already excused myself twice, go figure) but this time I will go back to keeping an exercise log. I will go to sleep on time and not stay up all hours of the night, and I will be good when eating on the road.

I re-joined weight watchers, because 1) it worked for me last time and 2) I can track what I eat on-line through my phone. They set my goals automagically and I like that. Plus, I can't really cheat.

By February, I hope to be a little more presentable, but it's already the end of January and I'm still fat. I need to get off my ass. My fat ass.

Is this a New Year's Resolution? Yeah, sorta. But One I'll have to keep now that everyone (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...) has seen it.


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