Go to content Go to navigation Go to search

Are you kidding me?

6/28/2011

Amazon's picks: "Essential Books for Young Adults"

Dear lord. We got the Holocaust, Suicide, the "Evil Catholic Church", Rape, Drug Addiction, psychotic bullying, "the Native American Angela's Ashes" and, of course, a great big gay guy. And these are the "essential" books for kids. It's pretty obvious that the people writing these books are the adult versions of the kids who spent every free minute sitting alone and hunched over the most distant lunch table, scribbling torture fantasies into the notebooks they carried around everywhere. It took them forever, but Mrs Wilson their freshman English teacher was right! They were destined to be a writer. Writing about the same shit they fantasized was happening to them in high school, and approved and published by people who think they know what goes on with "the kids today" because they read "Catcher in the Rye" once and shared a couple of bong hits with her niece and her niece's boyfriend that one weekend when her sister had to go out of town with her asshole salesman husband. This woman became a book editor because her mother loved Jackie O and she heard book editor's got laid. She doesn't know good from shit. I know this is true. You know this is true.

Every fucking book on this list is a damn stereotype of a depressed teenager's favorite book, as if it was really that hard to depress Young Adults teenagers.



Bookmark and Share

Oh boy

6/24/2011

Just for the record, I do not work for Southwest Airlines. But I do agree with almost everything that pilot had to say on the subject of flight attendants. Particularly because on my way here (on the tiniest plane imaginable) the flight attendant was about twice the width of the aisle and had a limp. This is actually the third time I've flown with this particular flight attendant, one of the "perks" of my job, and every time I have, the flight has been nasty, brutish, and short.

I'm really trying not to rant. Really. But if the flight attendant can't walk and there's an emergency, isn't it possible she might spill my drink? I'm going to need that to keep calm. You don't want to be sitting next to a sober maddad during free fall.

Oh, I would also remind young DC lawyers who occasionally have to fly to and from podunk "midwestern" cities like Cincinnati, to please shut the fuck up. Really. Don't talk. You almost got murdered, and I don't think your pal across the aisle would have cared a bit. When you are on a 50 seat plane, you force yourself to be polite, or some guy just might jam your oversize bottle of water so far up your bad suit that your boyfreind will think you went all hydrocepheletic while you were out in the jungle with the great unwashed. Also, after your crack about "paying full price for this flight" I found myself praying. Not that the plane would land safely or that I would die quickly, but that the horrible gas that I had earlier in the day would return so I could sit quietly and read my book while you gagged on your organic granola due to the impossibly awful silent, juicy, saurkraut farts I'd be squeaking out. You're an asshole, guy. We all know it. And now, so do you.
Bookmark and Share

I've found my calling

6/21/2011

I'm off to the mines!

Seriously, what a great idea.

How long before he gets arrested?

Bookmark and Share

Never do this...

6/13/2011

Sit with your sick son in a hospital room all day... and only bring one book...

The Stand

i can't stop washing my hands... or sneezng for some reason.
Bookmark and Share

Blogging in bed and browser problems

6/11/2011

but first, the big news... Obama has created or saved a job for maddmom. Of course he did it by killing off some old person, buy hey, a job saved is a job saved. maddmom was having a fit while I was out of the country, she thought that maybe she wouldn't do well in the interview, I disagreed. So she took my advice and wore her belly dancing outfit to the interview and called the guy "Master" and wiggled a lot and what do you know? She starts in two weeks.

In other news, I'm blogging from my old Windows 98 laptop that I installed Puppy Linux on about a year ago. I updated it a couple of months ago in the hope that I'd do more blogging if I had a computer upstairs in the bedroom, 'cause that's where all the funny stuff happens. But I was wrong.

Here's why. Firefox is too heavy and SeaMonkey takes too long to load. Opera was god for a bit, but now won't open, and unless I open the mobile version of most modern websites, I might as well shut down. Flash and images lock this sucker up good. Java? Please. Remember, this laptop is a Pentium 2 with 96 megs of RAM.

Email works, office works, better than the once new-fangled Office 97 that came installed on this thing. I can listen to music from my network, the speakers on this thing are really good, probably because it was built right before the heyday of Napster and everyone was using the CD-Rom drives in their computers to listen to music. When I ordered this thing for an engineer at work, the CD drive was an option. No network port, no modem, I had to order a PCMCIA modem (3Com 65k with dongle, WOOT!) that is still in the bay under my PCMCIA wireless card and god only knows how long it would take to load a modern website with that damn thing.

At any rate, what I need is a super-lightweight browser that pretends to be on a phone, so I can surf and post, and it has to work on linux and run on really, really weak hardware, like weaker than my Blackberry.

Doesn't matter, I've officially been "on the computer too long" and it's Saturday, so I have to fix things and follow the kids around.



Bookmark and Share

Obviously

6/02/2011

My blog's been hacked. Someone's used my login to post a picture, from my computer, in my album art directory, an nsf share on my home NAS, that only I and the administrator account have access to, that is on an internal, wired network

In other words, I'm not sure if that's mine or not.

I'm just holding it for a friend, officer.

Bookmark and Share

Holding this up

6/01/2011

Just a placeholder for a hotlink. Go on, complain.

Bookmark and Share