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That's Nuts!

7/28/2011

A $400 ticket for trucknutz? I don't know what is going on in South Carolina, but I think every official in the state needs to be put into a re-education camp.

Lesson one: You can't just fine people because you don't like their choice of automotive decoration.

Lesson two: You can't fine people because they interrupt graduation by cheering for their kid.

Lesson three is an excercise: I'm going to drive through your town twice. One time I will have a bumper sticker on my car that reads "If you can read this thank a little Chinese fellow who made it or the honor student who wrote the Union work rules that made it cost effective to have this piece of sticky paper shipped almost 7500 miles instead of making it here." The other time I will have an enormous black double ended dildo attached to the front of my car like Boss Hogg's steer horns. When is it OK for me to be stopped and ticketed?

A) When I see your out of state license plates.
B) Close to the end of the month, so I can meet my quota.
C) What kind of car and what color are you.
D) When the driver breaks a traffic law.
E) All of the above.

Now the obvious answer is E, but I am honestly hoping to get a D out of at least one law enforcement officer in South Carolina, maybe a blushing, young Enos type who hasn't realized yet that "breaking the law" means doing, saying, wearing, writing, building, thinking or being something that puts a crimp in ol' Sheriff Asshole's too tight Wranglers.

I can't wait for the end.

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I was going to wear this same outfit...

7/27/2011



That's what I get for searching for an "atheist hymn". Don't ask. Besides, it got me thinking...



oooh yeah...



Now, before I have to shower. One more. Oh dear me.


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Posted without comment...

7/25/2011


doesn't need one, really.

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Noah... Waaat?... How long can you tread water?

7/21/2011

The Ruins of Villa Epecuen


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Some Pig

7/18/2011

Went to the 4H fair and met Reggie. Reggie is a big pig.


Really large. Stinky too, but I didn't notice much. It was about 400 degrees out and I was hanging with the Beast and Skippy. We were wandering up and down the rows and playing with giant farm equipment, you know, doing cool stuff.



We stayed until it got dark, saw lots of tattoos, ate junk food, smelled pre-teen puke and signed up for many raffles.

It's summer. It's nice.




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Grim grinning ghosts...

7/12/2011

Images of the Hatbox Ghost

via boing boing

I'll have to go to Disneyland one day. I love the Haunted Mansion in Orlando. It's the only thing I have to do when we take the kids. I actually have to go back, because they've re-done the mansion since I was there last.

I've heard the one in California is better. We'll see...

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god talks back to the library of congress

7/09/2011

Christ Margaret, would you shut the hell up and let me finish my me-damned waffle?

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Oh good lord. Get over it...

7/07/2011

Entenmann maker apologizes for 'insensitive' tweet Please. The woman is NOT GUILTY. She's nasty, but NOT GUILTY. Entenmann's makes the best packaged cheese danish with a crumb top ever, it's not nasty and it's also NOT GUILTY.

There. I feel better. Jonesing for Entenmann's cheese danish, but better.

I realize that with a nickname like "maddad" I'm supposed to be perpetually butthurt about everything. I do try. I really do. I guess I may be getting soft in my old age, because 'insensitive tweets' don't bug me. Sending pictures of your married dick to college girls doesn't bug me. Asking someone if they're a 'flake' doesn't bug me. Even (and I know this is a 'bad thing') bombing the shit out of Libya and sneaking into Somalia to kill pirates and terrorists, holding pirates without trial on a warship at sea and attacking crazed Muslim extremists in Pakistan with hellfire missiles fired from drones. I thought 'Global War on Terror' meant global war on terror.

What I am butthurt about is the economy, inflation, airline travel, the pussification of the American male, gas prices, not being able to find a replacement spool for my 30-year-old electric string trimmer (It's electromofied!), freakin' Weight Watcher's Points Plus, how I can gain 5 pounds in one day, a day when I worked out like a sonofabitch, the bank telling me I have a $200 limit on my debit card, when I have a $100 limit on my debit card, this year's blackberries not ripening on time, the weeds in my front garden, too many emails, the GOP taking it up the ass from a bunch of proven incompetents, the guy who wants my vote and thinks he'll get it by telling me he's a 'Christian first, father second, Conservative third' (seriously, fuck you guy), my cellphone being a piece of shit, the size of my office, when am I going to have the time to get my eyes lasered, the guilt I feel over wanting a new car, semicolons, and the weird red spot in the middle of my chest. Other than that, I'm good.

I don't really give two shits about much else, so spare me your 'outrage' over a fucking joke about doughnuts. That poor bastard didn't kill anyone... and seriously, Nancy Grace is a proven liar, a bad lawyer and a hateful skank. If you are taking your outrage queues from her, you should probably pray to God you don't have a kid who plays sports in the ACC. Big motherfucking chickens will come home to roost. And he'll probably come home with Casey Anthony.

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A little patriotism can be good for the soul...

7/05/2011

if it's done right.



Only one person has ever done a better version of this song... this guy was the best. Seriously. If you ever heard him sing this song, you would know what I mean. Every time I hear it, I hear it in his voice. Can't be helped. No pictures of the guy on the web, but they named a school after him, which is kind of awesome. They should have to sing that song as recessional at every school mass.




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A bittersweet July 4th...

7/04/2011



Skippy went Reb and joined the 6th Kentucky Infantry Regiment, Company C.

A week later he was captured outside Vernon, IN while riding with John Hunt Morgan's raiders. So at least his mother can visit him until they ship him north. We were hoping for a parole, but it's much too late in the war for that.

On the other hand, the Madison Regatta was a big success this year. The rain didn't start until late last night. Seems it was an exciting day of racing yesterday.


A year old, but a good introduction to the Regatta:



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