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Things fall apart...


... actually, the center is holding pretty well. It's the hands that suck. I've managed to totally mess up my hands. I cut the tip off of my left pointer. All of the callouses got ripped off when I went bouldering with the scouts, I tore open the backs of my hands cleaning the gutters and I've got splinters under each fingernail from mulching the front beds.


On the other hand, the heart is good, blood pressure's fine, weight still holding at 195 two months after quitting Weight Watchers, and my penis has grown three inches thanks to a successful bet over fuel economy made with an elderly Gypsy woman.

So, I'm healthy and finally well endowed.


Not only that, but I think that if I pile all the stuff I had in my pockets together with my shoes on a scale, It'd be close to five pounds. Not to mention my new job as a drug mule. Ok, it's not really drugs. I just need a good story in case I get X-rayed.

Anyway. It's been an entire month since I've been on an airplane. Scary. So I've decided to spend all of September on the road. I'll let you all know if I make it.

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