So I was on a conference call today with a friend from Russia. We were comparing colds, his is worse. He sounds like an elephant seal with TB. I'm not coughing a lot, I'm just miserable. I think his esophagus prolapsed while we were on the phone.
I, however, am in worse shape. The last time we hung out, at a conference in DC last year, I did 30 pull-ups to his 13. Since then, he's been doing some slavic version of crossfit and I, I have done de-NOTHINK!.
I mentioned that I was probably too fat to do pull-ups now (not really true, but I'm not doing 30 in a row without stopping for a doughnut and a milkshake) and the next time I saw him I may need him to help carry my extra chin.
At any rate, this young guy who pushes 230 and is close to 6 1/2 feet tall has been doing some crazy stuff with body weight exercises based on gymnastic training. He sent me a link to this video of some Ukrainian guy who's getting famous in fitness circles over there. Check it out:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFAAAAAAA. That's insane. I'm not saying that I couldn't do any of that... but um... let's face it, I can do a pull up. That's not the same thing as Spidermanning all over Tartary. I'd have to lose 40 pounds. Easy. 60 pounds if you count all the snot. If my friend can get into this kind of shape, assuming he survives the plague, on a diet of beets and vodka then I'm moving.
Incidentally, I just found out he's older than me. He looks 20. Seriously. I should probably stay out of Russia. I don't want to go to bed one night and wake up the next morning drifting on an ice flow because I have a few spider veins and wrinkles. I suppose I could pack on a few hundred pounds and pass as a woman...