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The dork is strong in this one

8/07/2012

OK, first the dork in me. My Windows Phone got updated. I am peee-siked. For those of you with that other, lesser smart phone, I am sorry that you do not know the joy of owning the second thing Microsoft has ever done right. (The first being that giant yellow trackball from Microsoft Bob). This phone rawrks! Hard to believe, I know. I am totally stoked for Windows Phone 8. You must use a Windows Phone to realize just how awesome it is, it is not an acquired taste, everyone just likes it. Like cocaine... or blowjobs, sounds odd but it somehow just works. Now for the dork in others. No one gives a shit if a bunch of homos with boyfriend issues leftover from junior high want to be married. Go be married. But don't call it "hate" when people who's religion treats marriage as a sacrament don't like Bruce and Bruce pretending to be man and wife. Because that's what they are doing. Pretending to be married. Just like 51% of hetero men and women who get "married". Homosexual marriage is stupid. Why? Because Homosexuals won't settle for not using the word "marriage". That's why. I don't hate Homos. I hate assholes. Especially assholes who are given the opportunity to have exactly what they asked for, but out of respect for tradition and the millions upon millions of otherwise tolerant people with a smidgen of religious belief, it has to be called something else so they don't want it. Go on, have that tantrum your father beat out of you when you were six and got the blue bike for Christmas instead of the pink one. You aren't doing yourself or your stereotype any good. By the way, I'm still on some "conservative" mailing lists and just so you know the whole "support Chick-Fil-A day wasn't about hating gays, it was to protest the two mayors and a senator or two who said they would actively and illegally block business permits and zoning for Chick-Fil-A over something an employee said in church. So FUCK YOU you haters. You want to see hate, check out the goddamn homo contingent at any Boy Scout event. I'll show you ugly hate. Homos get fed at Chick-Fil-A just like everyone else, except on Sunday, when NOBODY gets fed at Chick-Fil-A. They don't pay more, they don't get bounced at the door and they don't have to sit in the "homos only" section. In the last ten or so years I've only eaten at Chick-Fil-A once or twice, mainly because I try to avoid fast food, but also because it seems to me Chick-Fil-A is never open. I did stop for lunch there two or three months ago on my way home from Chicago, and none of the people in there were making out. Not even the hetero ones, I'm not sure if it's because people don't normally make out in fast food joints, or if this particular Chick-Fil-A had a policy denying heterosexual couples their God-given right to PDA. I wasn't terribly upset at the lack of a live sex show but I really could have used a hand job so it was definitely noticeable. Anyway, the place was really clean, the bathroom was spotless before I went in, and the manager refilled my Diet Coke. (I thought he was coming on to me, guess I know better now.) At any rate, it was a nice place with OK food, but no champagne room. I left a pretty bitter review on Trip Advisor, I'll probably update it now. You know, I didn't have to pay the cover and that's worth at least two stars. By the way, homos, go on and have your kiss-in day at the high class joint, we still win. It's a known fact that a certain heterosexual once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. I used to believe that homos were just regular people who liked to have sex with people of the same sex. Now I'm beginning to see that homos are just big fucking crybabies who can't get over the names they were called in Junior High. I'm thinking "faggy crybaby queerbate pussy" was probably thrown their way once or twice, and you know what? Obviously they deserve it. And another thing, if you're NOT a homo? Fuck off with the "hate" bullshit. You're not going to get laid off of it, and it makes you sound queer.
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