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It's 2008 all over again, small talk, bullshit, and Matt Lauer. But I repeat myself

1/30/2013

Well, 2009 really. The Superbowl has a one-year oneder against an old-timey dynasty come-back team. Phoenix? Baltimore? Steelers? 49ers? See? A playoff-level team flukes themselves into the big game against an actual contender, the better quarterback will lose and the media darling will win a close game. Then we'll end up with Flacco boring the shit out of us on NFL network for years. Also, just like 2008-2009, I can't read anything on the innertubes without cursing and probably breaking things, I just changed jobs, and lets face it, the world is in really deep shit thanks to the outright stupidity of the US media establishment. Know how I know? I just saw a "major news story" about Jon Benet Ramsey. Seriously. DOES ANYONE FUCKING CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE? JON FUCKING BENET RAMSEY? IS THE WHOLE WORLD HIGH? The answer is "probably". But it should be "yes". If the whole world was high, the world would probably have at least some common sense. Stoners need cash to buy drugs. They will look to their own interests when they need drugs. Stoners will get off their ass and do something, even robbing convenience stores and old ladies if they have to in order to get their smoke on. These days, no one wants to do anything. Americans, in particular, are turning into Matt Lauer. Now, in the 90's that wouldn't have been so bad. Lauer was single, had most of his hair, could've banged any of those perky chicks he was on TV with before they got used to him, got too old and turned into dried-up, Harpy prunes. Now, Matt Lauer is a walking vagina. It must have been sitting surrounded by all that estrogen for all those years. But whatever happened, he has to pretend that he is a woman. In particular the type of woman who pretends to care about the shit that women's magazines pretend to care about. And I say "pretend" because that's what they are doing. No one really cares about some kid with scrotaceousitchfarberus syndrome unless they are related to him. Women's magazines think this will make some fat dame say "aww" when the homo in the hair salon brings it up in conversation, and he only brings it up because he knows that fat ladies don't enjoy talking about smoking pole like he does, because A) they don't do it and B) they hate men, even gay ones. The Today Show, women's magazines, and Matt Lauer in particular, were invented so that gay men and straight women would have something to talk about besides dick sucking and ease the transition of money from men to women and back to men, or what passes for men, whatever, at some point those bastards will have to buy something besides throw pillows, and the cycle will be complete. And there's the problem. No one wants to be mean any more. I don't mean "mean" as in "nasty", I mean "mean" as in "normal". I don't give a shit about some kid with a dead kitten, a funny picture of a tree sloth with a typewriter, or some woman who's baby has no fingernails. No one does. But if you have a computer, you are going to see and be forced to "feel" or "like" this bullshit because women need something to talk about with gay men, or other women who they really don't have anything in common with. When I was a kid I could go to the barber to get my hair cut and no one would say anything except, "Short. Back and sides." Partly this was because the barber was Italian and couldn't speak English, but mostly because the game was on. When that one loud guy came in, and there was always one, he walked in, made a lot of noise for a bit, sat down quiet and waited for about six or seven minutes, then made some more noise about how he'd be back later and walked out. If a guy had a lot to say, he talked about what HE wanted to talk about, and if you didn't care he went and found someone else to talk to. Not anymore. We are supposed to care about cooking, what your kids are doing, your wife's job, the state of education in Maine, Beany Babies, whatever. Small talk. Small talk is important because women and gay men need to keep talking or they will feel unimportant. For some reason, regular guys now have to have small talk ready to go or else they are "bad" or "cold" or "stand offish". Bullshit. I haven said more than three words to my best friend in six years. I don't have to. If I like you, chances are I won't have to talk to you. I won't have to fill up the empty air because I'm uncomfortable. Women are inherently uncomfortable, because in the grand scheme of things they are prey. Men are naturally quiet because they are hunters. Think of any noise a man makes is a decoy, like a duck call, or a Sasquatch yell designed to pull in the prey as close as possible so we can reach out and club it over the head with as little effort as possible. Now that the men in "charge" are totally pussy-whipped, they think that every man has to be able to relate to women on the women's terms. Thus, the Matt Lauering of America. I want to post large pictures of my hairy penis on Facebook. No caption. Just dick. I wonder if I'd get more comments than the link to the kid with cancer. If you ask me, the fucking kid should have quit smoking.
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