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LET -- THEM -- PLAY

4/05/2013

Lynn Police Warn Students Not To Play Kicking Game: Police are warning students not to play a kicking game where they kick each other in the back of the head.

My feelings on this are simple. If it really is a game, and it's not, then the police should shut the hell up and let these morons kick each other to death. Obviously these kids are supposed to die, if Darwin is correct, so let's weed them out. Besides, it's not like they are allowed to pick on the dorks in the glee club any more. Kick away!

Now I'll explain why I said it's not a game. These idiot police still think that kids always tell the truth. So when little Crusher McPhee boots little Timmy Poopypants in the back of the head with his new Timberland and tells the cops, "It's just a game we play!", Timmy Poopypants ain't going to contradict him. Even when he regains the power of speech.

Thus, the "Kicking Game" goes down in history with all the other crap I missed out on while growing up. No "rainbow parties", "train games", "Father Feelyfingers", LSD on temporary tattoos, razorblades in Halloween candy, angel dust on baseball cards, or suburban moms looking for revenge sex with the middle-schooler who mows her lawn.

In other news, I finally worked in a Bad News Bears in Breaking Training reference. Almost nine years in. I think I may just have hit Blog Nirvana.


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