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No waaaaaay...


Listening to Jay Mohr on Adam Carolla and I hear them start talking about treadmill jogging in the hotel "gym". Specifically, when you put your 20 minutes in but the guy next to you got there before you and looks like he's never going to stop, so you have to run for like three goddam years because you can't leave before he does or you are, essentially, a loser. So true. Somehow, when I'm on that damn treadmill I can marathon like one of them crazy-ass Mexican Indians who run 80 miles just so they can harvest one ear of corn. It's really the only time I can actually jog. For real. If I try and run around the block at home I have a coronary in the first half mile. I'm thinking I should hire one of those fat ladies who walk on the hotel treadmill all night to hang out in my basement on my elliptical and motivate me. Treadmill hogs piss me off. But that's not why I'm typing. I'm typing because I think I may just retire from the internet. Again. Seriously, there has been no movement forward on any front in the almost ten years that I've been masturbating in public. In fact, things have just gotten worse. You would think, by this point, given the mass amounts of information available, that people wouldn't be so damn stupid. You'd be wrong. All that information is actually making people more stupid. You see, now people have to willfully ignore any fact that disagrees with their particular twisted fantasy world. It takes actual effort on the part of these assholes to be this fucking stupid. It only takes a little bit of effort to become an expert in anything. Really. When they say 95% of life is just showing up, they mean it. Most things are easy. Really easy. If you practice, you will get good. If you practice being a complete fucking imbecile, guess what? (Now I know that the imbeciles out there won't get this, but that just proves my point.) You're a fucking imbecile! It really doesn't matter what side of which political theory you may or may not be able to spell. Although most of the shitheads who "BELIEVE THINGS DEEPLY", are from one particular side of the aisle (and it's not the side that believes deeply in things like God), it isn't limited to that particular group of dumbshits. But it's real close. Real close to being limited to a bunch of goddam loons who are stuck in the late 70's Romper Room TV show. Kill your television and turn off your phone. You stupid fuck.
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