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pay attention to me!

12/09/2013

Althouse: "Men, to the best of my knowledge, don’t even read."

That's a loose translation, I think. If read in the original Douchebag, the quote linked at Althouse probably reads more like, "I've said something complimentary about women, hope I get laid."

Given his limited knowledge of men, he sounds really gay. I've been working in an almost exclusively male environment for going on ten years and someone's always giving me book advice. Mostly mass market biography, WWII history, and bullshit business books, but every once in a while something really good pops up. Not lately, but sometimes.

It doesn't matter if he's gay or not, he is still trying to get laid, and con some bitchy women out of some cash. Good luck to him, and I hope I don't have to sit near him in an airplane.

Speaking of airplanes and reading, it is nice that I can keep my Kindle on while the plane taxis and takes off now. Not that I ever turned it off, because a Kindle Fire with WIFI turned off is pretty much the same as a digital watch, and no one ever told me that a digital watch was going to crash a plane, but I'm happy that I won't get yelled at by the old lady in the aisle.

When it comes to reading, lately I've been slacking. Manuals, mostly. Work and car. But I still have my airplane books and my project books. Still reading Herodotus and Sandburg's Lincoln (it took me forever to find that, finally a friend gave me an old boxed set of paperbacks), finished all of those terrible Jack Reacher books last plane ride and now I'm seriously in a pickle. I have all of the James Bond books on my Kindle, but I'm not interested, I don't like James Patterson and I haven't found a new shitty writer to cozy up to on an airplane. I read a short story by Stephen King the other day and I've decided that no matter what the marketing geniuses at the airport bookstores say, he's really so bad that there's no reason to even try any more. Why do all of his characters speak like the hippy extras from Dragnet? Why? Does he not know any real people? He does have good marketers though. I don't know how they do it. I know Stephen King sucks. I know I will physically recoil while reading his stuff, but every once in a while... It's like Play-Do. You know what it tastes like (shit, if you're interested), but every once in a while you just have to try it.

...And hey, I like bad writing. I do. But Stephen King? Christ. The story I read won like six awards. RECENTLY. The narrator was supposedly born in the 80's, but was using an ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DYING, BUT HE TYPED "uh, like" and "ah". HE MENTIONED ANOTHER CHARACTER'S "MUMFORD PYS ED" T-SHIRT "uh, like" EIGHTY TIMES! (See, that's the cool pop-culture reference, "Beverly Hills Cop". The narrator was what, FIVE at the most when those T-shirts were popular? The story came out in 2003 by the way, couldn't he have picked an NYFD T-shirt? Does he even HAVE an editor?) Utter shit, ruined the whole collection, and it looked like a good one too. They should have buried that stinker in the middle. My twelve year-old could do better, and has.









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