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Another.. OK, the second in ten years... book review from maddad; Nevil Shute, A Town Like Alice

4/25/2014

I practice a weird way of reading. I have project books, that I read over a long period of time, and Airport books, that I read in a couple of hours. I read a LOT of airport books, and these are the type of crap that I need to get me from one hop to the next on my latest adventure into the mid-west and southeast US. My project books can be difficult, and get me through my daily necessary and those days that I'm feeling lazy enough to sit and read (no days any more, in other words). My current project is my old friend Herodotus, since I finished Grant's Memoirs and the first book of Sandburg's Lincoln. I've got the Bhagavad Gita and the Odyssey on deck, calling to me from the window of my Kindle like Amsterdam whores (keep reading, you'll see where this goes), so I read a page here and there and want to quit old Herodotus, but I can't. ( I blame whatshername duckface from the English Patient) I don't, however, have a current fave in the shit-book department. Jack Reacher? Done. George HHR STP DDT Martin? Waiting out the series. Good old Clive Cussler and family? I can't tell one hero from the other any more. Horror books? Meh. Cheeky Vampires? Whatever. Hard boiled Private Eyes? Find me one. Science Fiction? I don't need preaching any more than I need to be depressed, so no more McCarthy either. I have been let down by the crap fiction gods and lately have been drowning in a sea of Netflix and technical manuals, and trust me, this sucks. There is nothing worse than having an hour long flight, followed by a forty minute layover, followed by another hour long flight and not having anything to read. The in-flight magazine lasts about as long as the taxi to takeoff, you can only play bejeweled on your phone so many times before your vision goes blurry and SkyMall, while entertaining, is seriously lacking in character development. So the other week, after I lost my running battle with the employment gods and had to take an unscheduled trip, I had to dig deep in the old Kindle and find something, anything, to keep me from killing and eating my seatmates. I decided I'd start alphabetical by title, in the downloaded documents section. Where I keep the fiction books from the library. The first on the list was A Town like Alice. A book I had skipped over about a thousand times because the cover art looked too much like "Lovely Bones" and I didn't want to kill myself. I shouldn't have worried. After a slow start of fifteen or so boring as hell pages of exposition, the good part started and lasted for almost three-quarters of the book. A really amazing story. And yet, after I got to that three-quarter point I didn't want to read any more. Imma tell you why. Modern fiction telegraphs its punches. Horrible things must happen. If your character is happy, he/she/it must be emotionally destroyed or the book is no good. Kill the dog, shoot the horse. Run gramma or the lover over with an ice cream truck. Have Dad beat up Mom or run away, introduce the girlfriend with the funny uncle. Burn down the house, move the family away from the boy's first love, have the girl grow up and stop believing in magic. Kill it, smash it, make it cry and take home BANK! Three-quarters in to A Town like Alice, I knew the ending. I KNEW something terrible was going to happen, and I didn't want to read it. I was disappointed and angry. I felt cheated and like I had wasted my time and energy. I wanted to write a letter to the author, Nevil Shute, and call him horrible names. I even started to write a dismissive blog post! But then one night at dinner I had one too many Shiner Bocks and spent most of the next morning on the hotel crapper. I had to read something. So I bore down (literally and figuratively) and finished the book. I recommend you do to, if you read it. (Not literally, unless your intestines rebel at any more than three Texan beers like mine do. Please, if you start reading this book, push through to the end.) While it may feel as though ol' Nevil got tired of writing and wanted to wrap up the story in a nice shiny bow, it's a good ending, and I'm glad I read it. The cleaning staff at the hotel? Probably not so much, but they probably read that crazy-ass Latin fiction that really sucks, but because the author's an unapologetic communist they'll give him the Nobel Prize. And it does suck, and yes I have read it. ( A Hundred Years of Slogging Through Bullshit that Sophomore Lit Students Think is Awesome, Memories of My Melancholy Whores (because I liked the title), and Love in a Time of Cholera (I begged for sweet death), are mind-numbing exercises in public masturbation (and this, from a blogger!), not good stories, and just plain, really, really ,bad. And I swear to all that's holy I won't get suckered into reading, or re-reading, any more of Marquez's shit, just because he died.. I probably will, but I'll hate myself, and when you see me moaning and covered in feces, you know I've been trying like hell to diagram a sentence from one of those god-awful books so that I have SOME FUCKING idea who is doing what and when.) So go hit the library, get the Alice book and read it, you'll get no spoilers from me.
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Moby bullshit

4/24/2014

Southerners Don’t Like Obamacare. They Also Don’t Want to Repeal It. - NYTimes.com Look at that top picture for a minute.

I'm a Catholic, but I'm tired of them saying "murder, murder, murder". They need to make it better.

Sounds stupid when I say it. Sounds stupid when the NYT digs up a bunch of Mobys to say it. No Republican outside of the Bush family thinks that every American should be forced to purchase something or be fined by the Federal Government. The only way to make Obamacare better is to get rid of it.

By the way, KY is a blue state, mostly. Look at the governor, look at the state reps. McConnell is only just hanging on by the pork he can deal out. Finding a Republican in Kentucky who is not beholden to a Democrat for a job is almost impossible. That state has been Democrat since before the Civil War. Don't let those bastards in New York fool you. The only reason the rural South goes Republican is because the old folks vote more often than the young folks, and no one but the old folks know where it is you have to go to vote anyway.

The south is not as solid as you might think.



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Welcome to Earf... day.

4/22/2014

Brought to you byIra Einhorn - The famous Unicorn Killer . Keep this in mind, I'll come back to it later on.




Normally, nothing gets me as worked up as the bullshit "holiday" that is "Earf Day". Nothing, that is, except for Boston. You know what? I fucking hate Boston. Really, expletive and all. Possibly the biggest bunch of douchebag whiners and self-important assholes on the East Coast. That's saying something, because as most of us know, New Jersey and New York are both on the East Coast. Boston Strong. You know what? Fuck Boston Strong. One bomb goes off and it like the goddamn world ended. You know what? Where I grew up a bomb went off, killed fifteen people, mostly kids, and burned down an entire city block. Anyone trying to escape was shot in the alley. You know who did it? The Police! Over a noise complaint and zoning violation! Fuck Boston Strong. Philly has it all over Boston, in every way. Take your arch-liberal, girlfriend-murdering assholes. Boston votes theirs into the Senate. Philly gets theirs a WORLD-WIDE Holiday! Fuck you Boston.

Boston just may be the only thing that pisses me off more than earf day. Goddamn Massholes.

 



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AHHH DA RAAAAAAAAAABIT! YOUSE DA TOITLE! RAAAAAAABIT! TOITLE!

4/09/2014

Tortoises to be euthanized as sanctuary goes broke! Oh Noes! Not the toitles!

There's more to this, of course. The feds have snipers covering a family because that families' cows are near the damn toitles.

Why does this happen when a certain political party is in office? Could it be that a certain political party thinks that the only enemies America has are Americans?

I do.
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