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Frustrating

4/15/2015

I cannot believe how some people can get away with doing just an absolutely crappy job. I mean, I'm by no means some type-A try-hard asshole who lives for my job, but I at the very least, do enough to keep on top of things. I'm beginning to see that most people actually do as little as possible as often as possible. I've considered this before, but I usually talked myself out of it. I usually ended up thinking I was paranoid, or overly negative, or even thinking that it was MY responsibility to get the work done. Today I've realized that I am responsible only for what I'm responsible for, nothing else. I can't manage a process that is outside of any responsibility, and I can't manage people who I don't manage. It's not that I can't push or encourage these people to do a better job. I can. I will. But without some kind of structure, all I am is a cheerleader. I'm a television commercial, entertaining, somewhat persuasive, a little informative, but ultimately a distraction. My motivation to get my work done is fear. Fear for my family, my career, my bank account. Straight up, if I don't perform to a minimum standard, I believe that I'll end up unemployed and in the poor house. I'd consider myself paranoid, but it's happened to me before. Even when I've been performing above standard. I've wasted almost an entire week of my life waiting for someone else to do a job that directly relates to my bottom line. I have no recourse but to wait. Usually, if someone is a shitty worker, like a contractor who doesn't show up, or a salesman who doesn't perform, I can try someone else. In this case, I can't. I would believe it's organizational culture, but there's multiple organizations involved. Day after day, the same shit. I know I'm complaining, maybe even whining. But it's my second day sitting in a hotel, away from my family, waiting for someone three layers removed to DO THEIR FUCKING JOB. Because the minute they do theirs, I will be responsible for doing mine. Or I won't get paid. They get paid no matter what. Fuckers.
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