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Look, this has been the best Christmas in years. Despite all of the crazy shit that's going on, the loss of one good friend in a shocking accident and the death of a family member. Despite the creeping Hungarian Death Flu attacking my wife and kids (and me, but I'm working through it). Despite the freezing cold and emotional bullshit of this time of year and, of course, my forty seventh fucking birthday (I'm so old now I can't even keep the list of cool celebrities that I've outlived). This Christmas will go down in history as the first Christmas in... well, since I was a child anyway, that I did not hear that abomination, that horrendous, disgusting, foul pile of fermented shit that is Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime." Seriously. I am over-fucking-joyed.

Merry Christmas, and here's number six on the worst Christmas songs of, well, forever.

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